If the feeling of happiness can not be known to everyone, then what is wine, everyone knows. The sense of guilt has been deliberately cultivated in us since childhood by our parents and teachers. We grow up already with the established template: "if you know what is wrong, correct the error." Whether it is right, it is useful to feel guilty or not, we learn from this article.
The definition of "guilt" in psychology
Let us turn to scientific formulations. Psychologists associate guilt with a whole set of emotional states, interwoven, first of all, with a sense of "remorse". If to be more precise, the fault in psychology means the experience of a person feeling discontent with himself or with his actions, as well as with some resonance between the behavior of the individual and the values accepted in society. Some psychological schools believe that feelings of guilt can be experienced only by members of a highly developed society, while for people who are backward and intellectually undeveloped individuals this feeling is unknown.
Who can feel guilty?
Curiously, guilt is manifested in non-verbal communication, even in animals. Do you remember what the dog looks like? Eyes are skewed, ears are lowered to the head. If a cat stole a sausage, then after the deed, he will try to retire, because he understands that his act is in resonance with the moral and social values of the family where he lives. Consequently, the sense of guilt is something that is familiar even to animals, not to mention people of highly developed and civilized.
What makes a sense of guilt?
According to the research of the doctor of psychology D. Unger, who was studying what wine is, this sense of a person consists of such components as repentance and admission of its wrongness.
Repentance manifests itself in accusations of the guilty, presented to himself. "Why did I do this?" - he asks himself who feels the blame. The second component is the recognition of its wrongness. This factor is expressed in feelings, shame, fear and sadness.
Why do you need a sense of guilt?
Why should a person experience a feeling that affects so destructively? There is an interesting version, proposed by Dr. Weiss, that this experience is simply necessary for establishing relations between people. Consonant with his theory, the sense of guilt is an adaptive quality, formed in the process of long mutual relations in society.
Wines - the concept is ambiguous. Therefore, there are many interpretations of this experience. The world-famous Dr. Freud and his companion, working in the same field of psychology, but somewhat later - Dr. Mandler, assumed that guilt and anxiety are the same feelings, called different words. If a person has made a mistake or was close to this, he is worried about the alleged punishment. To get rid of anxiety, a person can try to make up for his mistake. Also, some researchers associate a sense of guilt with fear. Fear of punishment is what makes a person repent of a perfect misdemeanor.
How much is it natural for a person to feel guilty? Apparently, even if animals and babies can feel remorse, therefore, guilt is a concept not invented. But do people not confuse a sense of personal responsibility with a sense of guilt?
What is wine in terms of real life?
Let's return to the childhood of each of us. It does not matter who raised the child, our obedience benefited these people. As soon as the kid does something that does not please the adult, he begins to get angry and express his discontent. Educators in the face of parents and teachers can understand. They believe that if the child develops a sense of guilt in the mind of the child, the child will grow up to be responsible, serious and honest. However, this is a big mistake.
What is the error of artificial cultivation of guilt?
In fact, in every person there is something called "inner voice" or "voice of conscience". When a person, whether he is a good citizen or a notorious fraudster, does something wrong, he hears this voice. But what is wrong? Theft, betrayal, treachery, fraud, deception are things that are not good. But is it worth blaming yourself if you want to take care of elderly parents and do not tell them that you were fired? Should I feel guilty if you do not want to communicate with a person more, and tell him about it? We are told that for happiness you need to follow the expectations of others, and if not, then you are guilty.
The parents are the first to achieve this. The kid should react to all their requests and instructions, in case of refusal, punishment occurs. Then, educators in the kindergarten and teachers at school impose certain behavior in school. You should study perfectly, behave quietly, do not raise your voice and do not argue. Let's take a look at the situation soberly. There are children - born "honors pupils", and there are mobile kids, from which magnificent athletes or dancers will get, so they do not have a tendency to science. They receive triplets, remarks, and along with it parents and teachers develop in them a sense of guilt. Further more. A teenager becomes a young man, a young man or a girl, constrained by all these restrictions.
The substitution of a sense of responsibility for feelings of guilt
The present and modern society largely consists of people irresponsible. This is not their fault, because it is the merit of educators. Instead of cultivating a sense of responsibility in the child, he is actively implanted with a sense of guilt. What is wine? This is repentance for the fact that you do not meet the expectations of others. What is personal responsibility? It is a sense of understanding that you can not do wrong things with others.
A person who has not developed a sense of responsibility can do atrocities and commit wrong acts absolutely fearlessly, if he knows that punishment will not follow. If the person is completely responsible for everything that she does, then she realizes in all her actions not because of fear of punishment, but because of inner sensations.
Conclusion based on all of the above, you can do the following. Feelings of guilt - invented and imposed on each of us. If you are already an adult, try to move away from this feeling, replacing it with a sense of awareness. If you are a parent and bring up a child, do not make the kid feel guilty for not meeting your expectations.