Technique and reception of active listening in psychology

In the psychology of communication, it is important for a person to realize their own importance - when they are interested, listened attentively, they want to understand. The interaction of people in society is based on courtesy and the basics of etiquette.

One of the new directions in communication skills is the technology of active listening. Its essence lies in a benevolent attitude to the interlocutor, the desire to understand it. Interest is the main method of active listening. Knowledge of technology will help to win the trust of the interlocutor, to obtain from him detailed information.

In communicating with children active listening will allow to better understand the fears and experiences of the child. He will learn to overcome his problems on his own. Parents and children will become more attentive, tolerant to each other. So there will be harmonious relations in the family.

Listening skills

During communication it is important not only expressively, competently speak, but also be able to listen to the interlocutor. For mutual understanding with his counterpart this is of great importance. To be able to listen is to perceive the flow of information from the narrator. The level of human culture will allow politely listen to the interlocutor, tactfully refrain from harsh statements, disdainful facial expressions.

The ability to listen depends on the type of person, intellect, communication culture, age, gender. Scientists have proved that women are emotional during the hearing, inattentive, often interrupt the interlocutor with their own stories. Men are able to listen to the information to the end, mentally looking for ways to solve it.

Many professions are associated with the ability to listen. These are sellers, hairdressers, masseurs, psychologists, doctors, teachers, administrators, consultants. For business communication , the effectiveness and culture of listening is important. There are special techniques that contribute to the perception of information. Admission of active hearing Will help support the interlocutor, will show the significance of his story.

Types of Hearing

Psychologists and communication researchers distinguish four types of hearing.

Empathetic listening . This is the ability to read feelings, emotions of the speaker. Ability to imagine yourself in the place of the interlocutor, empathize with him. Empathic listening is effective if the vis-a-vis or his information provokes positive emotions.

Critical listening . This is a focused analysis of the information received. Its critical perception, understanding. Such a hearing is effective for making responsible decisions. It allows you to weigh the pros and cons, agree or disagree with the interlocutor.

Passive (nonreflective) listening . This kind is used when the interlocutor needs to speak out. It implies minimal interference in the monologue of the vis-a-vis.

Active (reflexive) listening. This is the maximum establishment of feedback from the interlocutor. Active listening helps to place the interlocutor. Allows to influence his point of view. Admission of active hearing Testifies to elementary politeness, attention to the words of the interlocutor.

What is active listening?

Active listening is the semantic perception of information. This communicative ability allows you to concentrate on the conversation, clarify the details, ask again. With the help of this technology, the interlocutor feels the need for his information, interest to others around him.

Ability to talk, understand and understand the speaker's words is possible only with a benevolent attitude. Active listening, technique and techniques It contributes to the development of trust between the interlocutors. This is a professional skill and a whole art, the mastery of which can take years.

Failure to establish a dialogue, alienation of people make the technology of active listening in demand. This process consists of several stages.

The main stages of active listening

1. Sincere interest in a person, a desire to help him.
2. Attention to the emotional state of the interlocutor.
3. The ability to temporarily abandon a critical judgment, try to stand in the speaker's place.
4. Create an enabling environment for the interlocutor, encouraging him to independently seek a solution to the situation.

Interference for active listening

During the hearing, a person faces certain difficulties that interfere with the perception of information.

Internal disturbances are their own thoughts, experiences. They interfere with perception, forcing to concentrate on one thought or a whole complex of reflections. A dreamy or drowsy state also prevents active listening.

External disturbances are irritants that make you distract from conversation. This may be the inability of the interlocutor to convey information (incoherence and slurred speech, its pace and loudness), strangers or distracting noises (phone, repair work, transport sounds).

Active listening. His types and techniques

The technique of active listening is conditionally divided into 2 types: male and female.

A man's kind of active listening more relates to the skills of business communication. The correct delivery of information, its understanding and analysis is important here. Therefore, in an active hearing of a male species, the most frequently asked questions are "where", "how much", "when", "for what", "how".

The female kind of active listening is focused on feelings and emotions. It is not so much the accuracy of information that is important, as much as the attitude towards it or the interlocutor. This allows you to take the place of the vis-a-vis, feel his mood, experiences.

During communication, you should pay attention to the words of the interlocutor, try to understand it. This will allow you to correctly select the appropriate methods of active listening. These include promotion, repetition, reflection, generalization . They will help to better understand the narrator, will encourage sympathy between the interlocutors.

Active listening methods

The main methods of active listening are the desire to catch the essence of the speech of the interlocutor, if possible, to help him. Mastery of these methods is achieved on condition of constant training. TO Active listening methods include:

- encouragement. It consists in interest, expressed desire to listen to the interlocutor. At this stage, goodwill is important, lack of appraisal opinions;

- repetition. It consists in clarifying questions, repeating the speaker's phrases. Verbal concentration on the main points of the conversation;

- reflection. It consists in understanding the emotions of the interlocutor. At this stage it is possible to copy in mild doses the facial expressions or gestures of the interlocutor, thus expressing interest and full mutual understanding;

Generalization. It consists in summarizing the speech of the interlocutor. This concentration on the main thought of all that has been said and the selection of a compromise.

Examples of active listening

With regular use it is easy to remember the basic techniques of active listening. Examples For training consist in encouraging and clarifying questions, sympathetic nodding and nodding.

Encouraging the interlocutor allows you to tune in to a conversation. Here, non-verbal methods can be used (smile, nod, and benevolent gaze). In addition to them - verbal. These words are "ugu", "go on, please", "I listen carefully", "how interesting".

Repetition is better formulated in the form of a question. Then it will be easier for the interlocutor to point out the error and to voice your version of the phrase. These are the questions "do I understand you correctly?", "Did you want to say this?", "In other words ...".

Reflection is the ability to understand something that is difficult to convey in words. The subtext can be read in mimicry, voice modulation, increased or decreased intonation. These words are "you are alarmed," "you feel that ...", "it seems to you that ...".

Generalization or resolution of the problem during the conversation slips several times. Experienced interlocutor necessarily sum up, thereby making it clear that he listened carefully to the narrator and understood his main idea. These words "it seems I understand what you meant to say ...", "it seems that the most important thing here ...", "if I understand correctly, you experienced ...", "in general you decided that ...".

Questions for active listening

During the conversation, do not be distracted, but we must try to get into the essence of the speech of the interlocutor. Find out what he wants to say and why. It is necessary to ask clarifying questions in a timely manner. They will help to understand the interlocutor more quickly.

Open-ended questions require a detailed answer. The more they become, the more extensive the information will become. These are the questions "how", "how", "how much", "why", "why".

Closed questions require a short unambiguous answer, "yes" or "no." Do not abuse them - they create an atmosphere of questioning. It is better to use them at the end of the conversation to find out the status of the interlocutor. Did you manage to agree with him, come to one decision.

Alternative questions consist of two parts. The first part is an open question. The second part - two or more options for an answer. The interlocutor is given the opportunity to choose the desired option.

Errors in the application of technology

Methods of active listening in psychology Contribute to the full-scale building of relations in society. Therefore, obvious errors in communication should be avoided.

• Distraction from conversation, reaction to external stimuli, own thoughts.
• Inventing answers or arguments contributes to the loss of the essence of the conversation.
• Instructions, criticism and moralization ("I told you ...") will only encourage the interlocutor to stop the conversation.
• "Parrot" phrases or copying words of the speaker create the illusion of understanding. A discerning person will guess that they do not listen to him.
• You can not interrupt, end the phrase for the interlocutor. It is better to give him a self-design idea.
• To reduce the conversation to a meaningless polemic.
• Concentrate on yourself, translating all the words of the interlocutor into your situations ("and I had it ...").

Active listening in communication with the child

In childhood, it is important to know that parents understand the experiences of the child. He sometimes finds it difficult to express in words all that he feels. Attentive parents should help the child correctly explain their condition, clearly disclose the event.

The methods of active listening to children are helping to voice feelings and emotions. Parents should not only understand the child, but also learn to empathize with him, support him. This will bring together and strengthen relations in the family. Teach a child not to be afraid of negative feelings, to cope with them. Lead to a mutual active listening: parents - the child, the child - the parents.

The father and mother should learn the types of hearing. Methods of active listening to children Consist in their demonstration. It is necessary to show the baby that they want to listen and help him.

1. In conversation with the child should be at the same level with him, eyes in the eyes. Postpone all business, do not talk to him from different rooms. Show the importance of the dialogue with a benevolent glance.
2. Try to combine the meaning of the child's words with his feelings. This will help to understand the situation. Prefer an affirmative form (not a question) in describing the internal state of the child. "You're upset because ...", "you're angry because ...".
3. Make pauses so that the child can gather his thoughts and continue the dialogue.
4. Repeat in your own words the main idea of the child. So it becomes clear to him that his parents heard and understood.
5. Do not leave the child alone with his fears, problems, experiences.

Recommendations for a poor listener

It also happens that the interviewee should be removed as soon as possible. The reasons can be different: from reluctance to communicate with a specific person to unwillingness to listen to long monologues. Based on the techniques of active listening, you can create an alternative technology. With her help the interlocutor feels reluctance to communicate with him. What concepts do not apply to active listening?

• Silence, lack of emotional reaction to words, ignoring the interlocutor.
• Constant answers to the question.
• Disdainful posture, facial expression.
• Interruption of the interlocutor, the transition to their personal topics.
• During the conversation, be distracted by phone calls, do other things.
• Sharply criticize the interlocutor, immediately pointing out his mistakes and miscalculations.

Such an alternative technique should not be used constantly. People need communication and empathy. Only in rare exceptions should one remember what concepts are not related to the methods of active listening. It is best to politely explain that the counterpart chose the wrong time for a conversation. Try to avoid annoying interlocutors, giving preference to positive people.

Recommendations for a good listener

The main methods of active listening Promote benevolent interpersonal communication. With their help the interlocutor will feel attention to his words, experiences. Knowledge of techniques and the ability to use them will create a sense of self-worth in the counterpart, which will help to reach a consensus faster.

• Do not interrupt, interrupt a person. This method of active listening will bring the main idea to the end.
• After the question, be sure to wait for the reply of the interlocutor, not to answer for him.
• Maintain eye contact, turn to the person speaking.
• Establish feedback, ask questions, nod.
• Do not immediately refute the information heard. At first to get into the essence of the conversation, to understand the motives of the interlocutor.
• Do not succumb to the aggression of the speaker. With patience and calmness, try to level it.