Anger is one of the basic emotions of a person. And he is a harbinger of aggression. Usually a person falls into anger because of the injustice shown to him. Then comes either a calm or a flash of rage. But one thing is when a man is angry for real reason. But in fact many people notice behind themselves attacks of anger, provoked by the trifles. What, then, should be done, how to deal with anger?
First you need to turn to the sources. If a person starts from a half-turn and flashes a blue flame from the slightest spark - he has problems. Most likely, he is dissatisfied with his life. Or schedule, work, home, personal front. And here's the number one advice on how to deal with anger: you need to make a living.
And there are a lot of ways. First, you need to get rid of overexertion. Sleep a normal number of hours, eat at the same time, do not drag home the "load" from work (both emotional and in the form of tasks). Secondly, you need to bring activity to life. If a person in his schedule only has a house and a job, it's not surprising that he is irritated and falls into a rage over trifles. You can enroll in the gym, swimming pool, yoga. And life will be diversified, and the situation will be changed, and health will be strengthened.
It is necessary to get rid of unnecessary things. In a free, unclouded space it is easier to live. If you believe feng shui, then a heap of things leads to a mess in your thoughts.
And you need to stop hurrying. When a person is constantly in a hurry, there is a feeling that time is catastrophically small. And it's enough, you just need to get used to its distribution. To do this, you can create a notebook for planning the schedule and cases. And get up half an hour early to do quick exercises, take a shower and enjoy a cup of coffee. So it will be possible to bring yourself to tone and set the mood for the whole subsequent day. And if the morning begins with the cries of "I'm late!" And a quick breakfast on the go, it's no wonder that then a man takes out a trifle from himself.
Ways to relax
Eliminating the prerequisites is not a matter of one day. Therefore, ways to cope with anger, coming in one moment, is also worth knowing.
You need to shift your attention to breathing. Hold for a maximum time, then push the air out. What for? So it will be possible to reduce mental activity and at least distract.
If the rage is asking for outside, then you can tear paper, newspaper, napkin to shreds, break the old pen. Even in the process of communicating with the object of irritability. It's weird, but better than a scandal a hundred times.
Aromatherapy is an effective method. But in fact at work the bath with fragrant oils is not capable to help to cope with anger. It's just not there. So it's worth keeping a small bag (sachet) with dry soothing herbs.
And even a fit of rage is effectively "washed off" with cold water. This procedure removes tension from the muscles of the face and improves blood circulation.
Appeal to logic
If a person experiences a flash of fury and is angry with someone, then it's time to think about the situation. You can put yourself in the place of the opponent-stimulus. Ask a couple of questions. Why did he do this / said? What is he right about?
And sometimes it happens - a man broke on who is not at fault, after which he regrets. But the word is not a sparrow. To avoid such annoying mistakes, you need to develop a habit of being silent. Do not blurt out cynical thoughts, but think - should they be spoken at all? Is it worth it? In most cases, the answer is negative. Go on about the emotions can not, because you can offend someone with your actions. But it's not his fault that a person did not have a good day (or life).
Many people, thinking about how to cope with anger, decide to develop a conditioned reflex that controls aggression. For example, every time you feel the tide of aggression, bite your lip or clench your teeth. Such an unpleasant action will stop the flow of evil thoughts.
Parting with emotions
Talking about how to cope with anger and irritability, you can not not talk about the release of energy. Everyone who experiences aggression must find a way for him to let go of negative emotions. Above described methods relating to how to cope with bouts of anger. That is, suppress them and block them. But after all, they accumulate - in the muscles, the soul, the mind. And every person, suppressing anger, should know - soon he will release all his emotions.
For example, in the boxing hall, beating a pear. Or on a treadmill, subduing conditional kilometers. Many people are helped by singing. And even better - screams. Is it possible to get to a place remote from people? Do not miss it. After a person screams to the whole district, he will feel joy and satisfaction. There will be a corresponding reaction of the psyche, and behind it comes a phase of calm and rest.
After screaming or beating a pear, you need to relax. Because all this is also a kind of tension. And what did you do after you coped with anger and anger? It is best to take a hot bath. Thanks to this, it will be possible to strengthen the body, to normalize the concentration of salts in the body, to remove excess sugar and, in the end, to clear itself of the accumulated negative energy. In addition, the hot bath strengthens the kidneys and heart. This, in turn, affects the purification of blood vessels and the "piercing" of closed capillaries.
By the way, if there is an opportunity, you should give time to massage. It helps to keep the body and spirit in better shape, and also restores the body after stress, reduces tension in muscles, relaxes them and normalizes the blocked energy flow.
After the procedure, you should enjoy a cup of green tea or a decoction of currant leaves, raspberries and dogrose. This will help restore the balance of vitamin C. Few people pay attention to this nuance, but in vain. The lack of this organic compound causes avitaminosis, which causes pain in the muscles and joints, drowsiness, fatigue and irritability. It is unlikely that this is what a person, already worried about how to cope with anger and aggression, needs.
This topic should also be paid attention. Many parents grab at the head - how to cope with childish anger, what to do if the child gets angry? First you need to understand the source of this emotion. Not all children go to contact with their parents, so often they only have to guess the reasons.
The most common reason for a child's rage is the appearance in the family of another "flower of life." It causes not only anger, but also jealousy. The child, accustomed to love, the attention of parents and the benefits due to him, resents the fact that now all this goes to not only him alone. To overcome the child's anger in this situation, you do not need to say this boring phrase: "Well, you, baby, we still love you." Words are superfluous, you need to act - continue to show caring and love for the baby. Up to the material side of the matter. If parents bought several packages of things for the newborn and did not bring anything to the elder - it's clear that he will be offended.
But the child can also be angry for another reason. For example, if he is forced to do what he does not want. Wash your ears every day, eat the next morning only one porridge, walk only on Sundays. Parents are surprised - because everything was normal before! Naturally. After all, the child was naive before, and now he began to form as a person and show character. And how can he show it? Only angry, because so far, because of his age, he does not know other methods - only emotions. And many parents, seeing that the child has ceased to obey, begin to shout and get irritated. And they would not mind to think about how to cope with anger at the child, because what he does is normal.
It is important for adults to accept this fact. To understand that their child is a separate person. And to offer him compromises. Does not want to eat porridge every morning? Well, two times a week for breakfast will be buns. Because of a walk in one day off, does he feel under house arrest? You can let him go out to friends and on some weekday. The key to solving the problem is to engage in the child and understand his feelings. It is important to remember this.
How to react to aggression?
This is also a very important topic. And it is worth to say a few words about her, because often an irritant, causing anger, is an angry and evil opponent. And it is extremely important not to succumb to its influence, so as not to spoil your mood.
We must remain calm and do not descend to the level of an angry interlocutor. If there is no possibility to block a contact, leaving him (for example, the boss is angry), you must persevere with the attack. Look straight in the eyes, holding his head high, parrying the reasoned arguments. Even if the boss in affective rage, the logic of his opponent will be able to awaken the gleam in his subconscious. Or at least the fearless appearance of the "victim" will discourage him.
And yet, you do not have to argue. Parry - yes, but not furiously to prove and defend any point of view. In this confrontation, exposure is important. And patience. The chief will speak and calm down. After that he will forget about what happened. And some even apologize. But if the subordinate starts to react in response, to show character - there is a risk of remaining enemies.