How to resolve the conflict: effective ways and practical recommendations

In any human relationship from time to time there are disagreements. And at work, and in the family, and in the relationship between lovers there are conflict situations. Many people experience them quite painfully. And completely in vain. You need to learn how to properly treat such situations and know how to resolve the conflict correctly.

Psychologists advise treating conflict situations positively - as an opportunity to clarify and even modify the relationship.

Learning to resolve conflicts

In case of conflict, it is necessary to let the partner release steam: try to listen to all his claims calmly and patiently, without interrupting or commenting. In this case, the internal tension will decrease both for you and your opponent.

After the emotions are splashed out, you can offer to justify the claims. At the same time, it is necessary to monitor the situation so that the opposite side of the conflict does not again shift from a constructive discussion of the problems to an emotional one. If this happens, you need to tactfully guide the disputant to intellectual conclusions.

To extinguish negative emotions of the partner it is possible having made to it a sincere compliment or having reminded him of something good and pleasant from the general past.

Respectful attitude to the opponent is an indispensable condition for how to resolve the conflict correctly. It will impress even an extremely angry person. If, in such a situation, the partner is insulted, go to people, the conflict will not be solved exactly.

What if the opponent could not contain himself and went on shouting? Do not fall for a response swearing!

In case you feel guilty in the conflict yourself, do not be afraid to apologize. Remember that only smart people can do this.

Some methods of behavior in a conflict situation

There are several proven techniques regarding how to resolve a conflict.

Reception number 1. Try to imagine yourself as a commentator watching the quarrel. Look at the conflict as if from the outside, and above all - to yourself.

In your mind, fence yourself with an impenetrable hood or bulletproof vest - you will immediately feel that the opponent's taunts and unpleasant words seem to break about the obstacle you have set, and do not hurt so sharply.

Seeing from the position of the commentator, what qualities do not suffice you in the conflict, give them yourself in the imagination and continue the argument as if they have you.

If you do this regularly, the missing qualities do appear.

Reception number 2. How to resolve the conflict between the disputants? This very simple technique often helps not only to relieve tension, but also to avoid confrontation altogether. You just need to move away or move away from the enemy. The closer the conflicting parties are physically, the more intense the passions are.

Reception number 3. Surprise the opponent at the time of the conflict with a non-standard phrase or a joke. This is just a wonderful way of how to resolve the conflict. With a person who is ready to joke, it is difficult to swear!

Reception number 4. If it is absolutely clear that the interlocutor deliberately provokes the conflict, insults and simply does not give a chance to answer, in such a situation it is better to leave, saying that you do not want to continue the conversation in this tone. It is better to transfer it "for tomorrow".

Taking a timeout, you will calm down, get a breather to find the right words. And the person who provoked the quarrel, during this time will lose his confidence.

What can not be tolerated in a conflict

Good self-possession is the key to a successful exit from the conflict situation.

You need to learn to restrain emotions and stay calm. In the event of a conflict with partners or customers, it is strictly prohibited:

• Irritable tone and abuse;
• A clear demonstration of one's own superiority;
• Criticism of the opponent;
• Seeking in his actions of negative intentions;
• Disclaiming responsibility, accusing the whole partner;
• Ignoring the interests of the opponent;
• Exaggerating their role in the common cause;
• Pressure on "painful places".

The best way to get out of the conflict is not to bring it to him

Psychologists advise treating the conflict as a positive factor. If at the very beginning of building relationships, noticing the conflict moments, do not suppress them, you can stop serious quarrels at the root.

It is necessary to try to "extinguish the fire" even before it flared up. Therefore, the best way to resolve a conflict is not to bring it to him. After all, there are a lot of difficulties in life, and the nerve cells are still useful.

Often the cause of confrontation is the accumulation of an unspoken negative. A person is annoyed by the behavior of a colleague or just evokes a habit of a loved one, but he does not know how to talk about it so as not to spoil relations. Therefore, he tolerates and is silent. The effect is directly opposite. Accumulated irritation sooner or later splashes out in an uncontrolled form, which can lead to a serious conflict. Therefore, it is very important not to bring to the "boiling point", but calmly and tactfully express their claims immediately, as soon as they arose.

When you should not avoid conflict

But there are cases when it is not necessary to avoid a conflict situation, because it will help to solve the problem. It is possible to go to a conflict consciously if:

• It is necessary to defuse the situation by finding out what has become painful with a loved one;
• There is a need to break off relations;
• To yield to an opponent means for you to betray your ideals.

But we must remember that deliberately going to the conflict, it is necessary to find out the relationship intelligently.

Memo "How to solve the conflict correctly"

To get out of the conflict situation as quickly as possible and with the least loss, we propose this sequence of actions.

1. First of all, the existence of the conflict must be recognized. You can not allow situations where people feel confrontation and act according to their chosen tactics, but they do not openly talk about it. It will not be possible to resolve such a conflict without a joint discussion of the parties.

2. Having recognized the conflict, it is necessary to agree on negotiations. They can be both face to face, and with the participation of an intermediary, which suits both sides.

3. Determine what exactly constitutes the subject of confrontation. As practice shows, the parties to the conflict often see the essence of the problem in different ways. Therefore, we need to find common ground in the understanding of the dispute. Already at this stage it is important to determine whether the convergence of positions is possible.

4. Develop several solutions, taking into account all possible consequences.

5. After considering all options, consider the one that will suit both sides. Record the decision in writing.

6. Implement the solution. If this is not done at once, the conflict will only go deeper, and it will be much more difficult to conduct repeated negotiations.

We hope that our advice will help you if you do not avoid conflicts, then get out of them worthy.