Interpersonal conflict: an example. Types of conflicts. Methods for resolving interpersonal conflicts

Unfortunately, people do not always manage to settle all disputes and misunderstandings peacefully. Very often an interpersonal conflict emerges from scratch. What is the reason and why this happens? What are the ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts? Can they be avoided and lived a lifetime without conflict with anyone?

What is conflict?

Conflict is one of the ways to solve problems and contradictions that arise as a result of interaction between individuals or groups of people. At the same time, it is accompanied by negative emotions and behavior that go beyond the norms accepted in society.

During the conflict, each side takes and defends the opposite position in relation to each other. None of the opponents wants to understand and accept the opponent's opinion. Conflicting parties can be not only individuals, but also social groups and states.

Interpersonal conflict and its features

If the interests and goals of two or more people in a particular case diverge, and each side tries to resolve the dispute in its favor, an interpersonal conflict arises. An example of such a situation is a quarrel between a husband and wife, a child and a parent, a subordinate and a boss. This type of conflict is the most common and most often occurring.

Interpersonal conflict can occur between well-known and constantly communicating people, and between those who see each other for the first time. At the same time, the opponents find their way out face to face, through a personal dispute or discussion.

Stages of interpersonal conflict

Conflict is not just a dispute between two participants, arising spontaneously and unexpectedly. This is a process consisting of several stages, gradually developing and gaining strength. Causes of interpersonal conflicts can sometimes accumulate for a fairly long time before they pour into open confrontation.

At the first stage, the conflict is hidden. At this time, only conflicting interests and views are emerging and emerging. At the same time, both parties to the conflict believe that their problem can be solved through negotiations and discussions.

At the second stage of the conflict, the parties realize that they will not be able to overcome their contradictions peacefully. There is a so-called tension, which is increasing and gaining power.

The third stage is characterized by the beginning of active actions: disputes, threats, insults, dissemination of negative information about the enemy, the search for allies and like-minded people. At the same time, mutual hatred, hatred, and anger are accumulating between the participants.

The fourth stage is the process of resolving interpersonal conflicts. It can end with the reconciliation of the parties or the break of relations.

Types of interpersonal conflicts

There are many classifications of interpersonal conflicts. They are divided according to the severity, duration of the current, scale, form of manifestation, the expected consequences. The most common types of interpersonal conflicts are different for reasons of their occurrence.

The most common is the conflict of interest. It occurs when people have opposite plans, goals, intentions. As an example, this situation can be brought: two friends can not agree on how to spend time. The first wants to go to the movies, the second wants to just walk. If none of them wants to make concessions to another, and it will not be possible to agree, a conflict of interests may arise.

The second kind is value conflicts. They can arise in those cases when participants have different moral, philosophical, religious views. A vivid example of confrontations of this type is the conflict of generations.

Role conflict is the third type of interpersonal confrontation. In this case, the cause is a violation of the usual rules of conduct and rules. Such conflicts can occur, for example, in an organization when a new employee refuses to accept the orders established by the collective.

Causes of interpersonal conflicts

Among the reasons provoking conflicts, the first place is the limited resources. It can be, for example, one TV or a computer for the whole family, a certain amount of money for bonuses, which must be divided among all the employees of the department. In this case, one person can achieve his own only by infringing on the other.

The second cause of conflicts is interdependence. It can be a connection of tasks, powers, duties and other resources. So, in the organization, the project participants can start blaming each other, if for some reason it failed to realize.

To provoke conflicts can distinguish people in goals, in views, in ideas about certain things, in a manner of behavior and communication. In addition, the cause of confrontations can be the personal characteristics of a person.

Interpersonal conflicts in the organization

Almost all people spend most of their time at work. During the performance of duties between employees, disputes and contradictions often arise. Conflicts in interpersonal relations, occurring in organizations, very often hamper the company's activities, worsen the overall result.

Conflicts in organizations can occur both between employees holding the same post, and between subordinates and superiors. Causes of contradictions may be different. This is shifting responsibilities to each other, and a sense of unfair management attitude, and the dependence of the result of employees from each other.

To provoke conflict in the organization can not only disagreements over working moments, but also problems in communication, personal dislike between colleagues. Most often, confrontation can be eliminated by employees independently through negotiations. Sometimes the management of interpersonal conflicts is assumed by the head of the organization, he finds out the reasons and tries to settle the problems that have arisen. It happens that the case may end with the dismissal of one of the conflicting.

Interpersonal conflicts between spouses

Family life presupposes a constant solution of all sorts of everyday problems. Very often the spouses can not find agreement on certain issues, resulting in an interpersonal conflict. An example of this: the husband returned from work too late, his wife did not have time to prepare dinner, the spouse scattered dirty socks around the apartment.

Substantial aggravation of conflicts is material problems. Many household quarrels could be avoided if each family had enough money. The husband does not want to help his wife wash dishes - we'll buy a dishwasher, there's a dispute over what channel we'll watch - no matter, we'll take another TV. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford this.

Each family chooses its own strategy for resolving interpersonal conflicts. Someone quickly concedes and goes to reconciliation, some can live for a long time in a state of quarrel and do not talk with each other. It is very important that the discontent does not accumulate, the spouses find a compromise, and all problems are solved as quickly as possible.

Interpersonal conflicts of people of different generations

The conflict between "fathers and children" can be viewed in a broad and narrow sense. In the first case, it occurs within an individual family, in the second case it is projected onto the whole of society as a whole. This problem has existed at all times, it is not new for our age.

The conflict of generations is due to the difference in views, perception of the world, norms and values of young people and people of more mature age. However, this distinction does not necessarily have to provoke conflict. The reason for the struggle of generations is the reluctance to understand and respect each other's interests.

The main features of interpersonal conflicts of generations are that they are of a much longer duration and do not develop at certain stages. They can cease periodically and again break out with new force in case of sharp infringement of interests of the parties.

To your family is not affected by the conflict of generations, you must constantly show respect and patience to each other. Old people should remember more often that they were once young and did not want to listen to advice, and young people do not forget that after many years they will also become elderly.

Can you live a lifetime without conflict with anyone?

Few people like constant abuse and quarrel. Many people would dream of living, never conflicting with anyone. However, this in our society at the moment is impossible.

Since early childhood, people are in conflict with others. For example, the kids did not share the toys, the child does not obey the parents. In adolescence very often the conflict of generations comes first.

Throughout life we have to defend our interests from time to time, to prove our rightness. At the same time, it is impossible to avoid conflicts. In our power only to reduce the number of conflicts to a minimum, try not to succumb to provocation and avoid quarrels without good reasons.

Rules of conduct in a conflict situation

In the event of a conflict, both parties want to resolve it as soon as possible, while achieving their goals and getting what they want. How should we behave in this situation in order to dignify out of it with dignity?

To begin with, it is necessary to learn to separate the attitude towards the person with whom the disagreement arose, from the very problem that needs to be solved. Do not start offending your opponent, go to the person, try to behave with restraint and calm. Argument all your arguments, try to put yourself in the place of the enemy and invite him to stand in your place.

If you notice that you are starting to lose your temper, ask your interlocutor to take a break to calm down and cool down, and then continue to clarify the relationship. To solve the problem as soon as possible, we need to see a specific goal and focus on ways to achieve it. It is important to remember that in any conflict situation, it is first of all necessary to maintain relations with the opponent.

Ways to overcome the conflict situation

The most successful way out of the conflict situation is to find a compromise between the opposing sides. In this case, the parties make a decision that suits all the participants in the dispute. There are not any inconsistencies and misunderstandings between the conflicting.

However, it is not always possible to reach a compromise in all cases. Very often the outcome of the conflict is coercion. This option of conflict resolution is most typical if one of the participants takes a dominant position. For example, the leader forces the subordinate to act as he pleases, or the parent tells his child to do as he sees fit.

To prevent the conflict from gaining strength, you can try to smooth it. In this case, the person who is accused of anything agrees with reproaches and claims, tries to explain the reason for his actions and actions. The use of this way out of the dispute does not mean that the essence of the conflict is understood, but the mistakes are realized. Just at the moment, the accused does not want to enter into a conflict.

Recognizing your mistakes and remorse for what you have done is another way to resolve interpersonal conflict. An example of this situation: the child regrets that he did not prepare lessons and received a deuce, and promises his parents to continue to do their homework.

How to prevent interpersonal conflicts

Every person should always remember that it is better to prevent any dispute than to deal with its consequences and establish a spoiled relationship. What is the prevention of interpersonal conflicts?

To begin with, you need to limit your communication to potentially conflicting people to the maximum. It can be arrogant, aggressive, secretive personality. If you completely stop contacting such people, there is no possibility, try to ignore their provocations and always remain calm.

To prevent conflict situations, one must learn to negotiate with the interlocutor, try to find an approach to any person, respect the opponent and clearly formulate their positions.

In what situations should not conflict?

Before you come into conflict, you need to think carefully whether you really need it. Very often people start to find out the relationship in those cases when it absolutely does not make sense.

If your interests are not directly affected and in the course of a dispute you do not achieve your goals, there is likely no point in entering into an interpersonal conflict. An example of such a situation: on the bus the conductor begins to swear with the passenger. Even if you support the position of one of the arguing, do not get involved in their conflict without a valid reason.

If you see that the level of your opponent is fundamentally different from yours, it makes no sense to enter into a dispute and discussion with such people. You will never prove to a stupid person your rightness.

Before you get involved in a conflict, you need to evaluate the pros and cons, think about the consequences it can bring, how your relationship with the opponent will change, and whether you want it, how likely it is that you can achieve your goals during the dispute. Also much attention should be paid to your emotions at the time of the threat of quarrel. Perhaps, it is necessary to apply the tactics of avoiding the conflict, to cool down a bit and to think carefully about the situation that has developed.