Self improvementPsychology

What if I'm a fool? Avoid exaggerations and generalizations

From time to time we all make mistakes, sometimes we are very seriously deceived. And then people start to enter into the search engines an unhappy request "What if I'm a fool?". Of course, usually such questions are not asked by a person who is happy with himself. Feeling like a fool is not the most pleasant feeling and we want to know how to avoid this in the future. However, it is important that the question has an interest in what can be done in this situation.

First, give up a strong emotional assessment of the degree of your stupidity. It is always exaggerated. A fool is a very relative concept. Only people with developmental delay are really intellectually bankrupt, and they are able to deal with some aspects better than normal ones. So there are no stupid people, they are simply more or less competent in this or that issue. And this is a gainful business. In teaching, the correct emotional state of the learner is the key to success in improving competency. If you do not accept your mistake, it will be difficult for you to move on. So do not worry and say that experience in our time is of great value. Let's say you did not know something and randomly made the right choice. It's bad. You will not remember this choice, most likely, and have the opportunity to make a mistake in a situation where a similar choice will be critical. But if you were mistaken, you would definitely remember what was wrong. So appreciate your bumps.

Secondly, analyze the problem. To what extent is it fair to ask about yourself "What should I do if I'm a fool" to the extent that you were not dependent on anything? Let's say you do not understand the problem and are limited in time to gain knowledge, asked your brother for help and made a serious mistake in the process of helping you. What if my brother is a fool? Do not write off everything to your common heredity, that is, do not consider yourself also a fool. Or, say, you met a girl who does not think of life without a vivid clarification of the relationship. And no matter how well you behave - she will look for an excuse to play in the theater of one actor. So you need to establish how much in the current situation the cause of failure is precisely your decisions. Perhaps at the time of the decision it was right, but then everything changed. And you are not over it. Such situations should be perceived simply as troubles.

Thirdly, it is necessary to work on making all possible conclusions from the situation. And it should not be a decision that such situations should be avoided in principle - this is the approach of a loser. The winner considers the situation multifaceted and establishes subtle patterns. There is no need to spend energy on the question to yourself "What if I'm a fool?" You need to ask yourself "What are the causes of the error and how to avoid them in the future?".

Fourth, give yourself the right to make a mistake. Allow yourself to be wrong, seem unintelligent and act stupidly if it is not about professional activity. What if the boss is a fool? Forgive and think about how to interact with it. After all, we call a fool a person, when we do not want to think about what exactly he is doing wrong. It's easier to call a fool than, for example, to realize that he simply does not perceive well when his decisions are questioned. But if you do not paste a label, and deeply consider the problem, you will have a great chance to solve it.

"What if I'm a fool?" - refrain from exaggerations and generalizations. It is necessary to try to look at the problem from different sides - and much will change. At first there must always be a switch from dramatization to analysis. More details about the technique of this switching can be read in the books of Nikolai Kozlov, one of the most striking psychologists in Russia.

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