How to stop comparing yourself with other people: effective ways and recommendations of professionals

Compare ourselves with others we are accustomed to since childhood. Perhaps, everyone remembers how parents repeatedly tried to prick him with successes or some outstanding qualities of peers, emphasizing that he is far away from them? Growing up, we ourselves continue to engage ourselves in comparing ourselves with other people. And not always it is in our favor.

And if in childhood we just took offense at the elders and internally resisted this comparison, then becoming adults, we suffer from our own habit of measuring our dignity by the successes of others, involuntarily dropping our self-esteem.

When such comparisons increasingly prevent one from enjoying life, one must begin to struggle with it. How to stop comparing yourself with others? There are different ways.

Is it worth it to fight the habit of comparing

How to stop comparing yourself with others and begin to live fully? And is it possible at all, because everyone has such a habit? Completely get rid of it, perhaps, will not work, but try to do so that it does not poison our lives, it is just necessary. But how?

To begin with, you just need to consciously decide to give up comparisons. No one, except the man himself, can do this for him. Only with the habit of comparing oneself with more successful and successful people can a person truly experience happiness and freedom. And it's worth it to learn how to stop comparing yourself with others and get rid of this habit forever.

Do we compare with that?

How to stop comparing yourself with others? The reasons for this habit lie not only in upbringing. We are constantly imposed artificial stereotypes of beautiful life through advertising on television, on the Internet. And we often are not ready to resist this, forgetting that advertising aims to sell, and not show real life from the screens.

A sense of second-rate often arises when comparing yourself with more successful or more beautiful real people. For example, when viewing photos of friends and acquaintances on social networks. Successful, at first glance, people like to exhibit selfie, made in foreign travel, in rich homes, prestigious restaurants.

And so it is insulting to realize that your life is not so bright ... Compared with all this magnificence, your own happy moments seem to fade.

And did not it occur to you that people who put these photos on the Internet simply create the illusion of well-being? And it is not a fact that "successful" and "brilliant" would not envy your cozy and simple happiness ...

Only by learning to appreciate what has, and to be thankful for that, a person can truly experience the taste of life!

To practice self-flagellation is stupid

If in childhood we "measure" with peers correct, from the point of view of adults, behavior or good grades, prestigious toys, then at an older age we begin to compare machines, outfits, figures, career growth, rest places, luck and success ...

When such a comparison is increasingly in favor of others, a person is excruciating with disappointment, he begins to doubt himself and feel defective. Insecurity in one's own forces does not stimulate to achieve more, but, on the contrary, promotes that the hands fall ...

Psychologists say - this self-flagellation is meaningless and even stupid. After all, the universe created each person unique. Any of us is unique. Someone is given talent in one area, someone in another; Some received extraordinary beauty from God, and others received a beautiful soul; Still others seem to have neither beauty nor special abilities, but in life they are so lucky that many envy them ...

That's why you do not need to compare yourself with other people - the same unique creatures. It's only logical to compare ... with yourself, but with another, in other circumstances or at another time.

How to compare yourself ... with yourself

Why measure merit and success with outstanding athletes or artists? It is much more useful to compare yourself with yourself, but some time ago. For example, remember that what was only recently unavailable, but today - has already become a reality. Such a comparison motivates us to improve ourselves, to become better.

So, if the question of how to stop comparing yourself with others is relevant for you, it is useful to learn to make such a comparison with yourself yesterday to give a real assessment of your progress and begin to be proud of today's successes. How?

Do not forget about your own merits

Usually we compare ourselves with others on some specific indicator. But after all, someone from birth is given some dignity, and someone - others ... Each has strengths and weaknesses.

But here's the paradox: we extol other people's achievements to the skies, they seem to us delightful and unrepeatable. But for some reason, we quickly forget about our achievements. They warm the soul only at first, and after a while feelings of pride and joy are replaced by a gray band of despondency.

For people with low self-esteem, psychologists advise all achievements, even the smallest ones, to write down. For this it is recommended to have a special diary. And as soon as there is a feeling that once again after comparing yourself with others, self-esteem again falls catastrophically, you just need to reread your entries in the diary of achievements. It is very important not to forget the list of your successes constantly replenish!

But do not be vain.

The reverse side of the coin is comparing yourself with those who are in some ways below your bar. This also does not lead to anything good. Only at first glance it may seem that by comparing oneself with those who in some area are less successful, a person raises his self-esteem. In fact, this leads to the appearance of vanity. And most importantly, it hinders its own self-development, does not allow the conceited personality to grow. After all, why become better if you are already superior to someone else?

In any case, comparing yourself with others is harmful. After all, such a comparison makes a person either unhappy or vain. And one thing, and the other nothing positive in itself does not.

Control yourself

Control the moments when you begin to compare yourself with others: as soon as the thought of your own superiority or inferiority comes to your head, immediately drive it from there! To get rid of vanity or bitter envy is easier in their very bud.

And in parallel it does not hurt to work on the development of their complexes. Maybe you should not envy others, but try to pull up that area of life in which you are a little behind?

For example, you are far from the ideal figure of a friend or film actress? Do not be in a hurry to get upset about this - better go to the fitness club! And if you feel that your success at work is much inferior to the achievements of colleagues, it is worth doing self-development or enrolling in retraining courses.

If you, on the contrary, feel in some way your superiority over others - help them to pull themselves to your level. Your self-esteem from this will only increase.

How to stop comparing yourself with other women

Most often, they suffer from comparing themselves with other representatives of the weaker sex. Starting with external data and ending with success in his personal life and career. Solving the question of how to stop comparing yourself with other girls, often becomes for them one of the important conditions for feeling happy.

Psychologists say that those who compare themselves with those who are more beautiful or successful are those who are deprived of love in life. A real, unselfish, which is not for something, but "just like that." Such inferiority complex is involuntarily brought up in girls by parents as a child, when they praise, kiss or allow something pleasant for good grades, help with housework, etc.

And if this completely wrong idea of love is firmly entrenched in the mind, it must be eradicated. To begin with, every girl must learn how to love herself the way God created her. Everyone has his own shortcomings, but there are also advantages for which minor imperfections are simply not visible! It is important to remember that only after becoming fond of themselves and accepting their imperfection, a woman can find harmony.

How to stop comparing yourself with other people. Conclusion

All of us since childhood compare ourselves to others, but this harmful habit must be disposed of.

Consciously monitor and suppress every desire to compare.

Admiring the merits of others, do not forget about your own strengths.

Love yourself as you are. Accept your imperfection. Remember that ideal people do not exist.

Acting in this way, you will not notice that you no longer have the task, how to stop comparing yourself with others.