"My great-grandfather said:" I have a desire to buy a house, but I do not have the opportunity. I have the opportunity to buy a goat, but I have no desire. " So let's drink to ensure that our desires always coincide with our capabilities. " Did everyone recognize the toast from the film "The Caucasian Captive"? It follows that the great-grandfather wanted to buy a house, but he had no opportunity. It is interesting, what was the result of the discrepancy between desire and possibility? We move to the past and see. Great-grandfather is going through, is in an unpleasantly tense, depressing psychological state, breaks down on his wife and children, in the eyes of anxiety, disappointment, despair and even despair. His whole dull look speaks of detachment from the outside world. He is not here and now, but in some illusory world where his dreams of a long-awaited home have come true. "What's the matter, grandfather?" - we ask, and he says in the words of Vodian: "Oh, my life is a tin can! Come on, let her into the swamp! I live like a grebe. " - "Why? Is life without life and not life? "-" Without home, my life is one disappointment. In my death, I ask you to blame my life. The house is not as bad as you think. In fact, everything is much worse! My whole life was a rehearsal for a concert called "House." I will not hear a concert again. " "Grandfather, do not worry like this," we say with participation and hear back: "Now, pedal, until you give it." Grandfather comes up from the bench and threatens us with a stick. From him emanates aggression, as from a wounded wolf. We look at the great-grandfather and state that he put himself in a hopeless position by his psychological attitudes . He can not easily dissociate himself from the idea of owning a house. For him, the house is too important, and he can not ignore the fiasco of his plan. In addition, he does not have the desire to get out of the situation, and he does not know how to find a way out.
After such a sketch of frustration, I think, its essence became clear. Frustration - (from Latin frustratio - "deception", "failure", "vain expectation", "frustration of intentions") is a negative psychological state of a person, caused by the inability to satisfy some significant needs for it. When our plans fail, when insurmountable obstacles arise on the way to the goal, and we were strongly motivated to achieve the goal, there is a state of frustration. In other words, frustration is when our desires do not coincide with our capabilities. There is a state of oppressive tension, frustration, irritation, anxiety, anger, feelings of despair and despair.
For frustration is characterized not just dissatisfaction, but extreme dissatisfaction. For example, a person did not manage to perform in the daytime, what was planned in the morning or did not have time to have lunch. Frustration occurs when the degree of dissatisfaction is not tolerable for a person. At my friends in the far eighties the son did not want to enter the institute so much as did not want to serve in the army. What was feared, it happened - failed at the exams. I remember we watched the series "Seventeen Moments of Spring", and he went to the bath and hanged himself. It's hard to believe, but the reason for this terrible act was the importance he attached to entering the institute. Naturally, this could only be done by a person not tempered in the "battles of life", unnecessarily emotional, highly excitable, with undeveloped strong-willed qualities. Parents did not prepare their son for the hardships of life and for the ability to overcome difficulties. On top of that, the guy probably had a "I do not like" complex. A person who is sure that they love him will not climb into the noose.
If we promised the child to buy a toy that he strongly wanted to have, and was deceived, he will most likely react with resentment, anger and other negative emotions. Many people, being in a state of frustration, react to the situation like children. When the situation is not solved, the second wave comes - the departure from the cruel reality and the wrong world into a world of dreams and fantasies. A frustrated person goes into a blind defense from the outside world or harms himself. Men go into drinking or drinking. Women rush to the sweet or start revenge on her husband.
A man and a woman are traveling in a compartment . The woman opened her eyes: "I think my husband is cheating on me. The traveler sighs: "I think my wife too - And let's revenge on them?" Revenge. The guy tries to sleep. Fellow: "I would take revenge and revenge in your place !!!" After revenge, they usually go into apathy and depression ("I'll die, you'll know!"). Many women have a painful desire to shop. As a chocolate for raising the mood, clothes or cosmetics are bought, which the woman does not need.
A classic example of frustration is the desire of provincials to conquer Moscow. At home, he was the first guy in the village, and, arriving in Moscow, he sees that such ducks in the capital are a dime a dozen. He was used to perceiving his high rank as something natural and self-evident. A harsh reality overturns all his plans. Self-esteem falls below the skirting board. Life tells the candidate to succeed: "Remember, your place is at the parachute!" The man is disappointed and falls into the iron embrace of frustration.
The goal of frustration is to demonstrate its inconsistency. "Leave me alone, because I am insolvency and worthlessness," says frustration. At the same time, others are to blame. Emotional people fall into the embrace of frustration fanatically following to their goal. Since the embodiment of the goal for him is of great importance, there is an excessive energy potential. Man's goal turns into an eloquent example of idealization. Equilibrium forces immediately begin to work, driving it into a state of frustration. Man "wants to break, crush and tear to pieces." He is dominated by negative emotions from irritation and anger to impotence and despair.
Frustration is a serious lesson of equilibrium forces. Apparently, the person did not learn the previous lessons aimed at devaluing his importance and the importance of his desires and needs. Lessons of life follow, as a rule, on increasing. Each subsequent lesson is more difficult than the previous one. The state of frustration, based on its complexity, can be ranked as one of the most significant lessons of the equilibrium forces of the universe. Sometimes frustration is protracted, when with deceived hopes and futile expectations it is impossible to cope for months and years.
The paradox, but the source of frustrations can be the celebration of the New Year, which is associated with the expectation of a miracle. To please the "patron of the year" are covered with chic tables, gifts are being prepared. From the New Year they expect a new life and new happiness, but they get a heavy hangover after a long drinking-bout. As a result, complete frustration in the form of depression and disappointment.
Overcoming frustration is accomplished by eliminating the excessive importance of what caused this condition. For this, self-hypnosis, self-confidence and self-regulation are used. In sports, for example, four types of mental self-regulation are most often used: autogenic training, psycho-regulatory training, psychomys- chic and ideomotor training.
As you know, it is better to eliminate the cause than to fight the investigation. Frustration destroys destinies, disables personality, sometimes forever throwing a person out of the cycle of life. Parents, knowing the hard consequences of frustration, are obliged to bring a well-prepared child to life. He must clearly understand that life is just a circus in which different clowns will try to manipulate his understanding of importance and try to drag them into the arena. The child must learn well that his place is in the auditorium, and not in the arena of the circus of life. He must clearly understand what is really important in life, and what is vanity, tinsel, ponies and the game of "steepness". A small person should realize that everything in this life can not be controlled by him. Each person has his own area of competence, in which he is not an extras, but a direct participant. These are parents, spouse, children, close friends, colleagues at work. No need to hang around because of the earthquake in Turkey or the tsunami in Indonesia. If they could not reach their goal, it would not be fatal. Teach your child to realize that happiness is the road to the goal, not the goal itself. Tell the child this beautiful parable.
The dog, chasing after his own tail, exhausted, stopped the persecution and lay down to rest, curled up. In this position, he unexpectedly found the tail under his very nose and hungrily grabbed his teeth, but immediately let go, wincing with pain. "We have to conclude," he told himself, "that the pursuit is sweeter than possession."