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Pastafarianism is ... The Church of a flying pasta monster. Commandments of pastafarianism

New doctrines, branches of science and even religious currents now appear constantly, but little of this list acquires a certain status and world significance. But things are completely different with the new religion, which is called pastafarianism. This new trend in the spiritual world is also referred to as the Church of the Flying Macaroni Monster (LMM). Until recently, it was considered only a certain sect, until it acquired the status of a world religion.

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So, pastafarianism is a parody religion, which was founded in 2005 by American Bobby Henderson. The creation of such a church of this citizen of the states was prompted by the fact that in Kansas an item such as "Intelligent Design" was included in the official school curriculum. It is also remarkable that since then it has been read instead of the "evolutionary doctrine". On his official website, Henderson informs that he sees the creator of our world as a certain creature consisting of macaroni, and similar in general terms to an ordinary teftelu. He also calls on all to introduce a course of pastafarianism in schools along with other subjects, while using the argument of "bringing to the point of absurdity." Despite the fact that this parody religion is caused by mockery from many people, it has already become official for a long time.


After the Kansas schools began to study the same "Intelligent Design", Bobby Henderson immediately made his first assumption: "Yes, there is God, but where can you find evidence that he is exactly what we draw his church ? Personally, I see him in a completely different form, namely as a kind of creature from pasta. " On the basis of all this, as well as starting from the world Holy Scriptures (the Bible, Torah, Veda), he created his own manul, which, in fact, differs little from the above. Among the first adherents who entered this Church of the pasta monster were the so-called pirates. According to Bobby himself, these were peace-loving creatures who were engaged in preaching freedom of speech, and concurrently handing out sweets to children. Also, Handersen notes that the whole incomprehensible religious situation that has developed in our years is manifested in the fact that in the world there have been catastrophically few pirates.

The Basics of Religion

As is known, recently all atheists and people who are in every way rejected from any kind of religion, calling themselves agnostics, in the countries of Europe and America can even be imprisoned for such blasphemy. Along with this, modern religions, which appear and disappear constantly, also can not become for them a sufficient foundation for the acquisition of faith. As for pastafarianism, it became the very religion that enabled many atheists to leave the ranks of those "outcasts" who do not go to church and pray. We take into account in this all the fact that the Church of a flying pasta monster is recognized as official, and at the same time it is a mockery of what our ancestors preached for centuries and millennia. Therefore, from the point of view of mathematics, pastafarianism is, in fact, but it is equal to zero. This religion can give you the right not to serve in the army, so as not to kill those who ate once in their lives macaroni. Also, based on the fact that Muslims are photographed on a passport in burqa, believers in a pasta teapot can take a photo in a colander. In short, pastafarianism is an opportunity to rebuild all believing fanatics, plus at the same time expand their religious privileges.

Principles of Religion

As already noted above, the religion of pastafarianism is based on those canons that are fixed in the Holy Scriptures. In drawing up these dogmas, special emphasis was placed on the Christian church, that is, on the Bible. Therefore, by reading all the commandments of pastafarianism and principles, one can see a clear analogy, but it is impossible not to notice that it is still a parody, albeit very competently composed. Well, let's look at the basics of this worldview. Pastafarianism offers us the following canonical dogmas:

  • Floating in the air and an invisible pasta monster created our universe, and he began with trees, mountains and ... "dwarf".
  • All the existing evidence of the evolution of our world is a built in consciousness of each setting of the pasta monster. Many things that surround us, he looks older than they really are. Facts and scientifically proven regularities are also very illusory, since his Macaroni deity is capable of changing everything through matter and remaining unnoticed. As a result, our faith, views, knowledge and other dogmas are constantly changing, although we do not notice it.
  • Paradise, where all the pastafarian fall, is a certain substance that includes a huge beer volcano and a striptease factory.
  • The key word of religion is Ramin, which must certainly be written with two capitals RA. It is clear that this is a parody of the "amen" habitual for all Christians, Muslims and Jews. In fact, Ramin - this is a Japanese instant soup, which includes pasta.

What do you mean pirates?

More or less with what it means pastafarianism, how it is judged and where it came from, we figured out, but one more aspect remains unclear - the pirates, which were mentioned above. Well, let's clarify the picture. According to Hendersen, pirates who existed in distant times and plundered all the ships they met, in fact, are divine creatures. They were preachers of freedom of speech, will and religion, helped the suffering and children, filled the world with positive things. In such a gloomy and negative light, we were presented by their theologians, who compiled their treatises even in the Middle Ages. In addition, the global warming, which is now traced by all meteorologists on our planet, is also related to the fact that the number of pirates since the year 1800 has become catastrophically reduced. Bobby also claims that an increase in the number of Somali pirates contributed to the failure of the warming conference.

Holidays pastafarian

Like all world religions, whose age can be estimated in millennia, modern religions have their holidays, holy days and other notable dates. Among the main celebrations of pastafarianism, we will outline the following:

  • Friday is the most important holiday. On every Friday of every week, every believer in a macaroni monster should not do anything at all. Hold a celebration in honor of this momentous day is not necessary, but still highly recommended. They celebrate Friday first and then to commemorate his Macaroni Hand, which our world was created for.
  • Pastha is something that is celebrated much more often on Fridays, or rather, after every meal of pasta. After such a meal every believer should put on a bandage for one eye and tell everyone how he traveled to the bright world and met there with his Majesty the LMM.
  • Ramindan is another "serial" holiday. Everyone who visits the Church of a pasta monster, must periodically eat instant pasta. This is done in order to have an opportunity to remember how it was fun to live in student's years, when nothing more expensive than "doshyrak", we had no money.
  • Certainly all the pasta fans celebrate Halloween. In this autumn holiday it is necessary to change into a pirate costume and go to all houses, give candies to children.
  • Celebration (just a holiday) the pastafarians begin to celebrate in late December, and finish in mid-January. During this period, nothing needs to be done, except how to drink, eat and congratulate all those who meet with "Celebration". Note that this triumph is still canonical for pastafarianism.
  • On July 12, 2013, the religions of Russia were replenished with one more component. It turned out, as you guessed, pastafarianism, which on the same day acquired an official status in our country. Since then, and to this day, all the inhabitants of Russia who believe in a pasta monster, can not work all day and at the same time perform public "pasta services".

Opinions of Christians

Based on those comments and comments that various people left on the official website of Bobby Hendersen, we can draw the following conclusion. It is quite natural that for every believer (though a small fraction) of a person, pastafarianism is blasphemy, a mockery that is the reason for the numerous offenses and contempt of the Creator. Despite the fact that religion in many countries, including ours, is now recognized as official, few of the general mass of people pass to the side of a flying pasta monster. In the countries of Europe and America, many people have raised small rebellions about such a desecration of the entire Divine that has been stored by mankind for millennia. After the religions of Russia replenished with one more item - pastafarianism - there were no special changes in the life of our compatriots.

Russian Pastafarian Church

July 12, 2013 in the territory of our country was officially registered Russian Pastafarian Church. A few months later, some 27 religious communities were already established that worshiped a flying pasta monster. Like all other religions of Russia, which are considered generally accepted, pastafarianism has its "patriarch". At the time of foundation and to this day, it is Husama Pasta II, or simply Khu (Amirjan Khusainov). He is also assisted by a council of faithful companions, who is referred to as the Sacred Colander (it includes 10 people). Also, this religious body is often referred to in our homeland as a Russian pastapharyan church named after pastriarchy.

It would be better if you did not do this ...

It is in these words that the pastafarianism of the commandments is called in religion, which can be counted eight. This is an analogue of the Old Testament commandments, which were drawn up on the basis of the long path of Moses. It is also assumed that the macaroni monster himself gave this information, which includes various aspects of life - from eating to sex - to a pirate named Mosey. It is also assumed that there were initially ten such commandments, but two of them were lost "on the road from Mount Salsa". Well, let's look at what this holy scripture represents and what it can teach us.

The Eight Commandments of Pastafarianism

  • It would have been better if you did not behave like a typical holy preacher when you tell other people about my macaroni grace. I'm not so narcissistic, because to prove to everyone without exception that I really exist and that I need to be believed in is not necessary.
  • It would be better if you did not use My name as a justification for economic decline, enslavement, oppression and other abominations. I do not need victims at all.
  • It would be better if you did not judge people by their clothes, by their appearance and manner of communication. By the way, fuck yourself in the head that a woman, exactly the same as a man - is a person, and a bore is a bore. And remember that the best of people are those who know how to dress. This ability I gave women and only some men who can distinguish crimson from purple.
  • It would be better if you did not allow yourself to commit those actions from which you yourself turn, or a similar reaction can be traced to your partner. Anyone who does not agree with me can go to the forest, but if it's insulting to them, then for a change you can turn off the TV and stroll through the streets.
  • It would be better if you did not enter into a debate with the misogynists, racists and other svolochnymi organizations on an empty stomach. I ate - now you can go to disperse them.
  • It would be better if you did not spend a lot of money on erecting churches, mosques, mausoleums and other meaningless structures in my Macaroni honor. This money is better spent on reducing poverty, on curing diseases for the poor, for peace in the whole world or for passionate love.
  • It would be better if you did not bother everyone that I spoke to you. Believe me, you are not so interesting to everyone around you. Remember once and for all: I taught you mostly to love your neighbor.
  • It would have been better if you did not do to others as you would like to be treated with you if you are talking about a huge amount of petroleum jelly and latex. An exception is if a person really wants to do it himself. Just for my sake, do not forget to put on a condom, it's just a piece of gum! If I wanted sex to not bring you pleasure, I would add thorns to this product.

Pastafarianism in everyday and cultural life

The most vivid and, most importantly, pertinent theory of pastafarianism is given in the book of Richard Dawkins "God as an illusion." This literature has a biological evolutionary theme, because the flying pasta monster as an "opposition" in it just fit perfectly. In the TV series "South Park" citations from this very book are used. In the cartoon "The Simpsons" the main characters in one episode eat spaghetti in the form of a pasta monster, thereby preaching in absentia pastafarianism. His Majesty's Majesty's photo is also hanging on the wall of one of the heroes of the series "Computer workers". In one of the online games - Prime World - there is a character called Ramin, which is also considered a reference to this parodic religion. Note also that if you take a closer look, the image of a flying meatball from spaghetti can be found more often than we might think. Often it is used, even without understanding the essence, but in some cases LMM, which flashes on posters, labels and other items, is a hidden advertisement of this new religious trend.

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