How to get rid of selfishness: advice of a psychologist

How to get rid of selfishness and love yourself is the most contradictory statement of our time. Nevertheless, egoists are very unhappy people. Why can you draw such a conclusion?

Terminology

Studying the most popular dictionaries of our time, we can conclude what is selfishness. This is not a quality, but rather a life-long belief that positions itself as a person's desire to benefit from all means. A selfish person concentrates exclusively on his feelings, needs and experiences. The inner ego of such people is insatiable and constantly requires more. About the egoist can not say that he is modest or satisfied with life. He constantly wants to have what others have.

Is egoism always bad?

Some argue that egoists are people who really love themselves. But is it really so? Alas. To be a complete egoist is constantly experiencing tension from the thought that something is missing for you, you are deprived, others are better and more necessary. The desire for peace and comfort, which constantly pursues selfishness, does not bring him what he wants. In fact, the egoist does not like either others or himself. Often such people are lonely and deeply unhappy. In the trends of the modern world, knowing how to get rid of selfishness is vital.

However, it should be noted that the share of this character trait is inherent in every living creature. This is one of the obligatory facets of a psychologically healthy person. It is important to balance this quality with others and behave accordingly. But how to do this, we'll talk in the end. Now you need to understand why getting rid of selfishness is so difficult.

A struggle that few

In fact, to ask how to get rid of pride and selfishness is half the battle. A person must recognize that he urgently needs to start working on himself. However, the struggle with this face begins with the expansion of consciousness. This is difficult, because you have to learn to think first of all about the needs of others. Moreover, one must realize that human problems are not the most important, and there are more serious things that need attention. In addition, the egoist will have to accept the fact that not all of his actions will benefit him. The latter, perhaps, is the most difficult.

Manifestation of selfishness

According to the calculations of psychologists, selfishness in the modern world is not a defect, but a fashion trend. This word refers to countless restaurants, nightclubs and various shops. In Ukraine, for example, there is even a special loyalty program for regular visitors of fast food restaurants, which is called "Egoists". What is its message? Is for the sake of your ego. By the way, this is the slogan of this program.

The most vividly considered quality is revealed in family relationships, because at home people become what they are. Egoists in the family are real kings, to whom all must. Often, in time, tyranny appears in the family.

If a person creeps into suspicion that he is too focused on himself, it is worth considering how often he is ready to give up his own desires in favor of others, how much and often he talks about himself and whether he knows how to share the latter. By the way, egoism is often compared with greed.

Advice of specialists

If we talk about how to get rid of selfishness, the advice of a psychologist will be more than ever. Experts recommend doing this in four stages.

1. Stop limiting your consciousness . The boundaries that the egoist puts within him do not allow him to live to the fullest, because they hardly go beyond his own nose. In fact, the fancier has no idea what other people may experience. So how do you expand your own consciousness? Learn to listen to others and hear their difficulties. Think about what it is that can be done for people close to you.
2. Communicate without the pronoun "I". The best way to get rid of selfishness is to teach yourself how to talk less about your person. It is important to stop impose your opinion on people and be genuinely interested in what is happening in people's lives.
3. Love someone besides yourself . Psychologists recommend starting with a pet. The main difficulty of this step is that you can not get away from the animal. About him constantly need to care - to feed, clean and play with him.
4. Find satisfaction from what you have . If we talk about self-love, then the biggest problem is to learn to be content with everything that you have.

In search of how to get rid of selfishness, advice can be found different, but it's worth remembering that the very work on yourself will be long and time-consuming. Where does egoism come from?

Origins

Before you get rid of selfishness in a relationship, you need to find the cause of its occurrence in order not to allow a relapse. As stated earlier, the ego is part of the subconscious, which helps to remain mentally healthy. It corrects the perception of the outside world through evaluation, planning and comparison with past experience. In fact, the ego perfectly forms the inner man. It is important only not to give him full power. Why?

At times the ego influences so that a person begins to desire what he really does not need, and with the necessary things the situation changes radically. This can be illustrated by a simple example with a telephone. Now the hardware stores are full of different gadgets, and for a little money you can buy the most common push-button phone for calls and sms. Great option, is not it? But here is a friend's touch brand smartphone. You just need to make calls in fact, and you know that other functions will not be used, but the inner ego is indignant - buy one like a friend, or better even the model above. Here it is the difference between what is needed and what the ego imposes.

Knowing how to get rid of selfishness, you can easily ease your life. And the example with the phone serves as proof.

The absence of selfishness is possible?

Unfortunately, there are those who misunderstand the principle of working on self-love, and instead of learning to equally love oneself and others, they begin to live in favor of others. Of course, it is important to think about the benefits to the people who surround you, but one should not forget about one's own opinion and the ego. Remember that it is the balanced attitude to everything that makes it possible to remain a mentally balanced person.

conclusions

Of course, everything described above is a huge work and constant self-control. But in fact, pacifying your ego is not so difficult - you just need to look at the world wider. Any person, even the closest, can be interesting if you constantly learn it. The ability to put the interests of others first is also not so difficult to acquire. The main thing is to have an irresistible desire to learn this. Remember how people react when they see that they are being shared and thought about. If you select only one day and devote it completely to your native person, you can see how it blossoms, and you become lighter and more joyful in your soul.

How to get rid of selfishness, every member of the family should think. The words "I did not say that it's easy with me", "you owe me", "I know better, do not climb", "I can manage without your help" should not sound between loving people (and others should not be in the family) All in this spirit. Any signs of selfishness will only spoil relations between close people and affect the rest of the family. Remember that self-love must be in every person, but in an equal proportion with modesty, self-sacrifice and love. Otherwise, happiness will not be a guest in the home of proud people.