Christianity or Islam? The choice of the soul or the majority?

How to start my story? I'll start from the very beginning and tell you what motivated me to accept Christianity 5 years ago, although I had to think about the meaning of life, about who I was and why I came to this world, what is my mission in this land, I became three years before my Baptism. But let's get everything in order.

Probably, many things about which I will tell you my story, seem fictitious, invented. However, those who believe, who at least once in their lives have faced such a thing, will understand me.

So ... I grew up in a full-fledged family with certain foundations, traditions, conditioned by the national mentality (I was born and live in the Caucasus, in Ossetia). My grandfather and grandmother on the paternal line considered themselves a lifelong Muslim, although the pope did not feel that way, he explained this by the fact that Islam took only a part of our family name. We have never adhered to this religion. My mother is a Christian. The question of how to baptize children (we have 4 children in the family), my parents, like, did not get up. Still, not being baptized, I occasionally went to church, and you know, getting out of it, it became somehow easier on the soul. I thought I found comfort, comfort. I tried to find the answer to the question "why me?" What "why?" I will now tell.

At some point, I began to notice that all my dreams began to come true ... exactly as I saw it! And all would be nothing, but only dreams were bad: either accidents, or murders (in a word, death was always present in them). This happened not only to people I know, but even to those whom I do not know and have never seen in my life. You ask, and where did I get that with these people, what I saw in a dream came true? This was either printed in newspapers, or broadcast on the radio, or shown on TV. You can not imagine what kind of stress it was for me. Every time I woke up and prayed to God that it would stop. But I could see the dreams to the end.

After a while, I, like, ceased to see them. But ... I began to notice some strange things. In 2003, a close friend died (more precisely, he was killed). The same day I came to their home and waited for him in his room. When they told me that they had brought him, I went out into the corridor and stood in the doorway, leaning against the wall. When he was carried on a stretcher, a huge butterfly flew away from him, so beautiful, a fiery color, and on the wings of 2 large black spots (I even thought at the time that they looked so much like the eyes). This butterfly, flying past, touched my forehead and sat down on the corner of the ledge in his room. At that moment a very old grandmother called me. She asked me: "And who are you to him?" I replied that we were friends. Grandmother said: "No, dear, this is more than friendship. You were dearer to him, since his soul flew to you "(every time I remember her words, tears pour out of my eyes and shake in my body). Then the girls that stood next to me, pulled me up and asked: "Who are you talking to?" I told them: "Here with this grandmother." When I, turning these words, turned to show her, there was no one there. I did not find it. And the girls did not even see her. Tell me, what was that ?!

Another oddity I noticed when I installed a monument. I came to him, leaned my head to the edge of the monument and began to cry. Tears began to appear on the other side of the monument, and as soon as I calmed down, they disappeared, as if they were not there. But even then I was driving away from myself the thought that it's all strange that it does not happen like this. I thought that it was from the pain, from the emptiness that remained in me after his departure.

A few days later my mother called me and bitterly weeping said that someone had kissed his face on the monument, and the only thing she did not rub off the marks from lipstick left after that did not help. Although, he says, order a new monument. The next morning I went to the cemetery to see what the spots were. It was warm. Sun was shining. I sat next to the monument, touched his face with his face, and tears streamed out of my eyes. At that moment, I saw his mother and began to quickly wipe her tears from his face. When she came up to me, she hugged me and asked me how I managed to erase those spots! I did not even notice how they disappeared. My answer was: "Tears."

That's when I began to think about the fact that not everything is so simple in life, that each of us has its own destiny, its own burden in life. But again, the question of religion did not arise in my head until ... Until Jesus came to me in a dream. He came down from the sky to me, on both sides of us were tall trees, it was very beautiful there. Jesus asked me to save His daughter by telling me where she is. He blessed me and disappeared into the sky. I fulfilled His request (I clearly remember this girl, 14 years old, with black hair). She was in my arms, and I tried as quickly as possible to be again in the same place where we saw him. I remember that 3 men in every possible way prevented me from leaving, I realized that they were bad, unbelievers, they were all black, there were no faces. But I nevertheless fell into that grove. Jesus was again in front of me, and I told Him that I did what He asked me to do. I felt the shadow of those 3 behind me. Jesus took my hands, thanked, blessed, and ran his hand over my right hand. Then He disappeared again. When I woke up, the first question that appeared in my head was "What kind of daughter? He did not have any children? "Only after some time after I got up did I realize that we are all His children and this girl (His daughter) is one of us! But more surprising to me was that on my right hand, which He touched, blessing me, there was some sign. I have a birthmark there , and a light icon appeared on it (I still do not understand what it means, whether it's a letter, or something else?)

After this dream, I began to think about baptism, about the fact that Jesus came to me in a dream. However, my thoughts continued to be just thoughts until one day later, after 2-3 years, I did not understand that the time had come. And then there was strangeness. I asked my aunt to find out in the church about my baptism. Father said that I will need to come this very day! What day? 08/08/08! The sign of infinity ... Many, for sure, will say that I bother with all this. It's been 5 years since my baptism. I will not say that I often visit the church, I pray (it is clear that there is nothing to boast about here).

But on this, I'm afraid, I'm just beginning to search for my religion ...

Some time ago (maybe 3-4 months), I became very interested in Islam. Why did I then adopt Christianity, not Islam? At that time, I had a wrong, somewhat distorted view of Islam, like most people. Now I know it firmly! And then in Russia, for some reason, it was always Christianity that was recognized, and Islam was treated and still very wary (although this is an erroneous idea !!!) So then I did not have a question about which religion to adhere to. So, I became interested in this religion - Islam. I began to read the Koran and you know the more Sur I read, the more I began to agree with the scriptures that were sent down to us, and understand that here it is TRUE! I watched a lot of videos where people talk about why they adopted Islam, which prompted them to do so, I read a lot of stories about it. This is a kind of attempt to understand yourself, your interest in this religion. Can someone feel the same as me ?! Maybe someone's story will help me find the answer to this question.

There is another reason why I am interested in Islam. In May, I met a man from the past. 10 years ago, we met, but due to a confluence of certain circumstances, he soon went to his homeland - to Chechnya (yes, as you already understood, he is a Chechen, which means he is a Muslim). You know, now it's been 3 months since we are together, and every day I thank God for him. This year, God willing, we will get married. However, there will be some problems. First, I need to say Shahad (accept Islam). And it does not frighten me, but the thought that, if I can not manage it, I'll confuse something, forget it? This question should be approached with all responsibility! Of course, I will make every effort to achieve this and prevent punctures. Secondly, I worry about how my family will accept me! I'm not originally Muslim! Yes, suppose I accept Islam, but still I know so little about it, how to behave with them, what to do ?! Of course I'm very scared. Plus, the fact that I'm 4 years older. I am very worried that they will not accept me, but I will not be between him and his family. I do not want them to spoil relations because of me, because there is nothing closer than the family. He calms me down, says that they will understand and accept that he will help me, tell me how and what, that he loves me all these 10 years, and his attempt to create a family has not been successful. There is one marriage behind his shoulders. They have long been divorced, but no, they do not, because they have 2 sons. I do not know the children in person, but you know, it seems to me that I already love them. And how can I not love the children of a person to whom I have strong feelings, with whom I want to tie my life, create a strong family, have children? Third, of course, I am concerned about the reaction of my parents: I'm going to marry a Chechen, and I will accept Islam as well ?! I'm sure that my head will not be petted! I think so much will have to listen. Oh, Mom ... Until I say nothing, I do not tell anyone anything except my sister (she was naturally surprised, but, like, she supported me, she said it was my choice, and if I'm sure of it, she is with me). In our favor, he also does not plan to live in Chechnya. He has been living in Moscow for about two years now.

In general, with these thoughts and fears, I make life difficult for myself. But do not think about it, unfortunately, I can not. Maybe someone had a similar story and you tell me, what kind of solution can be found from this situation ?!

I will return to the reason why I write all this. So, I'm baptized, but I had so many doubts about whether I did right by accepting Christianity, did not hurry, because in fact, I know little about this religion to this day, and, unlike Islam, Christianity I was not so interested in (I do not want to offend anyone with these words! I respect all religions, they just find themselves in Christianity, others in Islam, others in Buddhism, and so on). Will not the adoption of another religion be a betrayal on my part? Not so long ago, weeks ago, I wanted to go to Grozny and go to the Mosque, there were thoughts of accepting Islam. But I do not want, as then, without knowing anything about this faith, to accept it. This is a very serious step! This issue must be approached thoughtfully, without hurrying. My friend advised me to go to our Mosque. He says I'll understand right away whether it's mine or not. Only by feeling this atmosphere, it will be possible to draw certain conclusions for oneself. I think the conversation with Mulla could explain a lot to me, because so far I have more questions in my head than answers. But here's the snag: will they let me go - the Christian there? A friend says that there are no problems with this, she herself went there for the first time, not being a Muslim. On the Internet, who says, will be let out, who writes that it is not allowed for Moslems to enter the Mosque. In general, I still do not understand, you can or not. I hope one of you will dispel my doubts.

I want to return again to the question of the attitude of most people towards Islam and to wish them to change their erroneous idea of it. As I did. Although I have never been an opponent of this religion. You can not judge anything with someone's, unfortunately, often, distorted words, stories. To each of us God is given a head to think, eyes to see, ears to hear! Do not need to make hasty conclusions without knowing the essence! By individual representatives of that or other nation, one can not judge everything! The same goes for religion! Those who beat themselves in the chest and called Muslims, and simultaneously joined various bandit groups and killed people (as you already understood, we are talking about terrorists), and a hundredth of those were not! In the Koran there is not a word - the call to killings, bloodshed and wars! This Scripture calls only for goodness, love, tolerance for each other, compassion and mutual assistance! I do not call anyone and do anything, and even more so do not, but I would advise you at least out of interest, simple curiosity (no matter how rude it might sound) to read the Koran. You will understand everything after this. How much good, order and knowledge this Scripture carries . You will get answers to many, if not all, of your questions. Definitely!

As for me personally, I do not know yet when my time will come and I will say Shahad (I will accept Islam), but it seems to me that I am already close to this. It takes a little more time to finally understand this religion and take it for yourself, to get the missing answers to collect all this mosaic until the end. I believe that I will succeed!

May God help us all!