This conversation will be useful for everyone - both daughters-in-law and mother-in-law. Even for those who do not yet have this status, but are only going to. At least, we will all once be in the role of daughter-in-law, and then - mother-in-law, and we will share our child with another woman - a stranger, as many mad mothers think. Hence all the discord. Is it not better to remember once and for all, which the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should never speak about, that the elder must be wiser and be the first to learn these rules. We have combined in the article all the annoying habits of women in the role of mother-in-law. Someone will come in handy.
It is necessary to do not so
Two women in the same kitchen - this is already a conflict. You have established on your territory once and for all the established order and no one can be allowed to claim the same rights. There is an opinion that it is better to keep distance. Is it correct? Yes and no. How can you forbid mothers to be interested in the affairs of the son and his family, help with advice and, if necessary, business. But! You do not need to advise every minute to do this and that. It is not necessary to remodel for the daughter-in-law in a demonstrative manner what she has already done. For example, I hung clothes - and you do not like it, and you outweigh. And about advice - they are good, when they ask you. Otherwise, this is not advice, but pointers, no one likes to live by.
I know better
You can not blame you for wanting to keep the whole house under control. You are a person from the older generation, and you have experienced it yourself - from your parents, then from your husband and his parents. Now it's your turn. But suddenly it turns out that your supervisory functions are unnecessary to anyone, moreover, they irritate everyone. What to do? If you do not want to spoil relations with children, stop all the time telling your daughter-in-law and son what and how to do, how to walk and how to sit. Ultimately, this will lead to serious conflicts not only between you and the daughter-in-law, but between the husband and wife. You do not want to break the life of your son?
My favorite son
Of course, no one likes him more than you. But you do not need to tell his wife that you know your son better than she, that only you know how to feed him, how to dress him, how to treat him. Only you remember the name of his school friend, what grades he received in chemistry, why he did not like wearing socks ... In short, you use every opportunity to prove that you know much more about your son than she does. Believe me, in many respects the daughter-in-law knows him better than you. She, and not you, he is now revealed from different sides. For you, he is still a child, and for her - the husband, the father of the family, the beloved man. Give her the right to be a woman. And remain a mother - intelligent and tolerant.
How to raise grandchildren
When a child appears on the scene, you all have a new status. You are a grandmother who perfectly remembers how to swaddle a child, how to plant it on a pot, what to wear, how to walk with it. And do you again use every opportunity to show that your daughter-in-law does not understand anything about this? Do not need to give advice every minute, never say that she can not cope with her child. It's time for you to understand that before you is also a mother who will not harm her child. And she already knows a lot about how to raise a baby. Yes, and your methods, to put it mildly, could have become obsolete, like the same means for caring for kids. Help, than you can, let the daughter-in-law rest, walk with the baby when she is busy or tired - but only by mutual consent. Because the disagreement of adults is bad for the child, too.
When I was young ...
This all sin. They like to remember what they were white and fluffy and how hard life was given. At the very least, this is inefficient. And in large doses causes irritation. Probably, you are right, and life developed not so easily, and with the husband you addressed otherwise, and children at you never hurted. But time changes, people change too. Have you yet realized that this is another generation, if not another planet? Yes, of course, it was much more difficult to live in your youth. And why then give her an example? After all, you do not want young people to live the same way as hard? So on this phrase - "but in our time" - you can immediately put a taboo. Believe that you will not wait for gratitude for your difficult biography. Talk about your youth and different points, of course, you need, but this should not happen in the form of a lesson.
You can not watch so much TV
Or play in the computer, or two hours to collect lego - you understand, it's about excessive care and imposition of their decision to the parents of the child. If you are unanimous in any decision - it's good. But to go against their will and force the child to do something contrary to the daughter-in-law - this is inexpedient. Your happiness, if you find understanding in children. In any case, your advice should be unobtrusive and not authoritarian.
He was never strong in this
If you criticize your son before his wife, even as a joke, it will not lead to anything good. It can offend not only him, but also your daughter-in-law. Understand: she is the woman who made this man his choice. Let it be non-ideal - she will figure it out herself. But the hints of his insolvency in something, even from the mother, she will not tolerate. And if he does, he can use your words as a reproach to his husband. Why do not you live closer? Avoid such a statement of the question. Yes, you want them to live next door, but it happens so rarely. Children should live where they are more comfortable, closer to their work. And if they live in another city - well, they will have to accept this. Fortunately, now is not the time when you had weeks to wait for a call or a letter. Modern means of communication greatly facilitate communication between close people. And, honestly speaking, it will be better for everyone if you are at some distance. And the relationship will be better, and all family members will become much closer to each other. Patience and wisdom to you!