The teacher called home and complained about your child's behavior? React right to criticism

When a teacher calls home from school, it can be scary for the child, but it's even more terrible for parents. Such a call can put you in a vulnerable and defensive position, especially if the house does not observe the same behavior. If you can calmly understand the situation with the teacher, then you can quickly and effectively solve this problem, as well as teach the child a healthy way to neutralize any conflict. Therefore, you should take a deep breath and reasonably approach the situation. Here's how to behave in this case.

Do not start defending yourself right away.

First of all, you instinctively can begin to defend yourself and deny guilt. If you immediately begin to "butt" with a representative of the school, it will not only not be productive, but will also create unnecessary stress. Parents need to make an effort to try to look at the behavior of their own child through the eyes of the teacher. Remind yourself that simply addressing you about your child's behavior is not a direct criticism of your parenting practices.

Isolate what's wrong

Take a little time to clarify absolutely all the details of the problem before you start to look for its solution. Find out the context in which a particular incident happened, it can not only help you calm down, but also shed light on a possible solution to the problem. Ask the teacher to describe the specific behavior that bothers him so that you can follow your child at home and try to observe this behavior at home.

Assess the causes of bad behavior

You know your child best, you can understand exactly what he needs, so you need to get to the root of the problem. Think about things that can affect your child's behavior, such as changes at home, problems in parenting relationships, insomnia or nightmares, poor nutrition, and so on.

Develop a change plan

Once you have all the facts, ask the teacher what you can do to help, and find out what has already been done on this issue. Then together you need to develop a plan. How do you want your child to behave in a week? Month? Ask the teacher how he could influence the child at school, and listen to his suggestions about how you could influence the child at home. You may think that you know best what to do, but you should remember that teachers have a lot of experience in dealing with children and solving problems related to bad behavior.

Talk to the child

Ask him how he sees this problem, listen to his opinion. Consider his version of what happened seriously. You can find out why he is behaving badly, it may also turn out that he does not know what behavior is expected of him. Explain to him why his actions are unacceptable, and also inform him that you will not tolerate this kind of behavior from now on.

Recognition and consequences

If your child confesses that he behaved badly, it is very important to convince him of the need to apologize to those he could hurt, and his actions should have specific consequences, such as depriving your favorite toy or banning the TV for the rest of the week. On the other hand, if he immediately confesses to the deed, you should thank him for his honesty. If he knows that you are concerned and want to work with him together, he will have more motivation to change.

Take care of further control

You should meet with a teacher, director or school psychologist to always stay informed. If you create a joint front with the representatives of the school, then it will be much easier to solve the problems that arise in the future. If necessary, the school representatives can help you find a specialist outside the school, which you can contact to help your child cope with the emotional problems that arise.

A call from a teacher is not the end of the world. Moreover, if you learn that your child is behaving badly, this can help you solve his problem, which he is trying to cope on his own. So the next time you get a call from school, use this opportunity for the benefit of your child.