Ill-bred child: signs, causes. How to raise a child?

The need of a child in love, understanding and care can be expressed in different ways. This can be either a direct request (which happens quite rarely), and bad behavior (which occurs more often).

Good manners - the key to proper education

An ill-bred child can behave badly, fight, interfere with conducting classes or lessons, shout over teachers and teachers, or simply make noise, without giving parents the opportunity to relax after a hard day's work. As a rule, the parent tries to cope with this situation, but the more he tries, the worse it gets. Moms and dads very often repeat one rule, which sounds like this: it requires attention. Of course, your child has many other needs in psychological terms, except for the increased attention to yourself and your "want."

A difficult child: how to be?

Let's consider the most important question: how to raise a child and not to harm him? Contrary to the general opinion, raising children is not a purposeful special occupation once a day, when mom and dad sit in the evening next to a little boy or daughter and begin to tell how to communicate and behave. The process of education is what happens in the communication of the child with parents and with other adults in life. It should happen all the time: when the daddy watches football, and my mother is going for a walk with her friends, or when mom and dad swear and make up. But what to do in such situations? After all, life is sometimes very difficult, not always relatives in a good mood. Children from preschool age already understand and realize what they are experiencing, and how to react to these feelings. To understand how to correctly answer this or that experience, they learn from their parents, and if mom and dad can not behave in an exemplary way, then an ill-mannered member of the family appears.

Definition of the ill-bred - spoiled child

It is known that if a child is considered spoiled, this speaks first of all of his ill-manner. As a rule, the baby is emotionally unstable, subject to regular whims and hysterics, never obeys his parents, expresses his egoism, does not know how and does not want to communicate with peers. Such children are ill-bred and spoiled, they consider themselves to be the center of the universe and do what they want. There is such a term "darling", many compare it with pampering, but this is completely wrong. After all, you can only dilute, only regularly indulging his whims, buying expensive gifts on demand. And as for the daughters, they receive parental love and care in moderation.

Ill-bred child: signs

First of all, these are wild children who live only with their "want" and perceive surrounding people as something they can use, as they want and when. In the context of this, a well-bred child is an adequate and rather useful creature than harmful (because, as we know, there are children like a natural disaster). But such, at least, well-mannered and cultured. Let's look at real examples of a very important question: who is a spoiled, ill-bred child and how to deal with it?

Examples of ill-bred children

• The kid does not want to share his personal things, food, attention of others. Often, to achieve their goals specifically uses hysteria.
• Strong dependence on parental care. This offspring constantly needs the presence of relatives, no matter how difficult it may be.
• Shows increased claims to food, does not want to eat ordinary food, requires forbidden sweets.
• Constantly dissatisfied with clothes, food, toys, attention. Often refuses to walk.
• Never help adults when cleaning an apartment, I'm sure that my mother or grandmother is obliged to clean up everything for him.
• Constantly rude adults, and those in turn, little by little lose respect and cease to be for him an authority. Often ill-bred children visit guests show their vagaries and disobedience, which even makes parents ashamed. In an effort to wrap themselves up, adults can make noise, interfere with conversation, make seizures, and so on.
• He is able to manipulate adults and by this he achieves his goals. In the course can start up hysterics, tears, licking, and also can be traced assault by the offspring.
• Does not know the word "no". This is the result of permissiveness, and eventually he will begin to not understand why he is refused.

The reasons for the above mentioned signs can be the initially incorrect and non-pedagogical approach of the father, mother, grandmothers, grandfathers in the eternal question, how to raise a child. Very often there is not enough time for the formation of the offspring, and the adults are then bought off with expensive gifts.

Noncultured parents and their problems in upbringing

There are also ill-bred parents who deceive other people, cunning, pretending, lying and hypocritical before their relatives, neighbors and friends. Be sure that the children will see and act the same way, repeating all your actions. It is from you they learn to lie, deceive, behave meanly and unworthy. Such education will lead to nothing good, your children will no longer respect and love, they will even avoid. Such children will not grow up worthy, they will always not be satisfied, and they will blame for this not themselves, but the surrounding, evil world.

What can and can not be?

And there are such individuals of the family who are not able to deny their beloved child and are foolishly convinced that every restriction will negatively affect the emotional state of the baby. It is necessary to build such a system of education, so that the child understands and determines where it is good, and where it is bad, where it is possible, and where it is impossible. And also show respect to other people, try to respond correctly to life situations with the help of parents and be able to control their emotions.

Recommendations of psychologists: how to properly educate a child

Most families are asking themselves: at what age should we start to form the behavior of our child? It is a well-known fact that one needs to be brought up from birth. Loving and adequate parents must pay special attention to this fact, because it depends on how your beloved will grow up. It is the ill-bred children in the school that carry chaos and anxiety, create discomfort to adequate children, offend the weak and often resort to physical violence.

Basic tips on how to raise a child

• It is necessary to love the child as he is, even if sometimes he is capricious and pampered. Trust is the main factor of upbringing. When the kid sees that he is believed, he will strive for discretion, honesty and will not want to upset his parents.
• Relive all the failures and difficulties together, by this you will show that you are worried about him. Thus, the child learns to pay attention to problems with other people, help relatives, he will have a feeling of empathy and sympathy.
• It is necessary to communicate and show enthusiasm for everything that interests the baby. Then he will be happy to share with you his experiences, impressions, thoughts.
• When you have a wish for help at home, never give up. Otherwise, in the future such a gust can disappear for good.
• Remember that children should be praised, even if they did a simple task. Subsequently, they will want to seek a solution in more difficult problems.
• If the child was mistaken, do not rush to scold and punish him. First you need to find out why he did it and what he wanted to show by his behavior. It is necessary to explain to him that this is not good.

Successes and failures of the kid

• Give the child the opportunity to correct his mistakes on his own, hear his explanations. Then he will cease to worry and fear.
• So that children grow up organized and confident, parents should behave the same way. Do not rush to blame for something, but rather first pay attention to your mistakes and actions.
• Whatever difficulties are observed, always support the child and help him. This will give self-confidence, strength, thanks to this the child will have a desire to conquer new peaks and achieve the goals.

7 mistakes in the upbringing of children

Young mothers and fathers make a lot of mistakes, which then have a negative impact on the child's physical condition and mental health. How can we avoid major mistakes in upbringing so that an ill-bred child does not appear in the family? This is described below.

• Charges and threats. The method of education through reproaches, threats, intimidation, shame is the main mistake that came to us from the past. The phrase "As you are not ashamed!" Is still used. A child feels not only shame for what he has done, but loses all activity, and this kills any subsequent initiative. In this way, you can grow a moral handicap, especially with regard to the popular phrase "We will not love you anymore". After all for small children it is a huge shock, a hysterics and desire to make a dirty trick to someone spitefully.
• Inconsistency and inconsistency in education. From the very childhood your baby should be limited to the limits of what is allowed. Daily change requirements and prohibitions - this is wrong. The child will become confused and lost in different "can" and "not." The requirements for children for all family members should be the same. That parent, whose position in education is unprofitable for the baby, will get disrespect in his direction and cease to be authoritative if he does not follow the rules of upbringing.

• Uneven attitude. Quite often adults transfer their complexities and problems to communicate with children, which, of course, is not right. At one point they kiss them, pamper, buy everything they ask. And the next day they can scream, get angry or simply do not pay attention. Different "can" and "can not" completely depend on the mood of your beloved mothers and daddies. If you do not want your baby to grow mentally unstable, control your emotions, do not rip off malice on kids. After all, the return of trust will be incredibly more difficult than losing it.
• Excessive custody. There is such a category of mothers, which are called mother-hens. Such mothers over-patronize their children, which harms their full-fledged, normal development. Hyperopeka negatively affects the different sides of your child. He can not find friends for a long time, he can not express his opinion and defend it.
• Lack of time. One of the main mistakes parents - little time for classes with children. Everyone is constantly busy at work, at the household, but this does not mean that we need to forget about the needs of the child. He needs your attention and joint evenings, conversations, games and reading your favorite books. Otherwise your baby will start to feel unnecessary and will seek support and understanding from strangers.
• Lack of affection. Children of any age need caress and attention. They make you feel needed, loved. Therefore, you can not refuse a son or daughter in this pleasure. But it is also important to remember that it is forbidden to impose weasel. Do not make you forcibly kiss, hug. After all, tenderness must come from the heart, and not because it is so necessary.
• The money question. To replace love with money is by no means possible, but, unfortunately, a child in the modern world experiences this very often. It is clear to all that adults are trying to earn as much as possible for the common good, but still money can not replace parental love and affection. Any, even the most expensive purchase will fade if your child does not have enough attention and care.

The purpose of correct education

Parents who love their children truly, treat them carefully and seriously. They make decisions based on the good that it will bring to the child. Parents who do not explain to their child what is good or bad, spoil the human essence of the baby. Hence, there are ill-bred children and their mothers, who do not hear anything and do everything their own way, ignoring others. From these kids grow insecure, pissed and capricious personality.