Self improvement, Psychology

How to let go of the situation: practical advice and advice of a psychologist

What prevents a person from living in the present and enjoying life? Looping on a situation that happened in the past. Why does someone rigorously go forward without looking back at all the difficulties, betrayals, obstacles, pain that are associated with some life problems, while others are diligently clinging to the negative, even one that would have long ago been left behind in the past, not Willing to let go of the situation?

It is possible and necessary to let go of the past if your true desire is to live happily in the world

Let's try to figure out how you can let go of the past. Perhaps someone will want to protest and say that you can not let go of the past, in which there was so much joy and happiness: this is too valuable an acquisition. Here is the answer: the article is intended for those who can not understand how to let go of the negative experience of the past: problems, conflicts, misunderstandings.

How can I let go of past grievances? A few recommendations for those who really want to be happy

Try to answer yourself to the question: "In what situation have you become obsessed?" Disassemble it in parts. For example, because of your arrogance and pride, you broke off relations with someone dear to you.
Try to note that it is not allowed to let go of the situation? Perhaps this is understatement, if you did not put in a relationship point. Anger or resentment. It does not matter whether you broke up with a person a year ago or only yesterday - if you think about it and this does not give you rest, then it is important today. That is, you live events of the past.
What can be done right now in order to let go of the situation and start living happily? Think about whether you have the opportunity to contact a person in any way, send him a letter, call, meet and say something important? It is necessary to use any chance! Do what's important to you right now, without delay.
Is it possible to let go of the situation if this requires your immediate and prompt intervention in the process? The point here is that, for example, once you could not do what needed to be done, for whatever reason: they could not, did not want to, were frightened, did not dare. Release such a situation can only be if you finish what you did not.

Step 1. Take your time!

How to let go of the situation? First of all, stop thinking about her at least for a while. The longer you "think over" the problem, remember the details of the conflict, the more you will be sucked by the swamp of anger and self-pity for yourself and others. This will only aggravate the case, but it will not fix the situation. After all, if we need to let go of the situation, as we do: we go straight to the offender and give him the surrender, which, in turn, further exacerbates the consequences. Then, already on a fresh head, we understand what we have done, regret what we have done and dream of inventing a time machine and turning the clock back. But, unfortunately, this is impossible.

Therefore, to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man, mom, girlfriend, colleagues and other people, and then still not regret its aggravation in a fit of rage, digress from the problem.

You should find a lesson that will distract you for a while. How to let go of the situation? Understand the accumulated work or study, do household chores, watch an interesting film, stroll along the street and get some fresh air, clearing up thoughts. In the end, you can even do internet surfing, which can own attention. Talk to someone who does not know what happened and can raise your mood and make you laugh.

How to learn to let go of the situation? Stop focusing on negative emotions and forget the unpleasant episode at least for a while.

Step 2. Review the situation

After you have at least a little abstracted from the problem, mentally lose it in your head. Remember that the more details you remember, the better. But doing this, be not a participant of the situation, but its external observer. Mark the emotions that arose during the conflict, the words you uttered, the movements that you committed. Try to understand how your interlocutor moved, responding to your actions. Maybe he has problems with his personal life, with his career, with his parents, and you became the trigger for the negative? Or are there any other important reasons for his reactions? The interlocutor is also a person, he, just like you, is tired, may experience anxiety or pain.

How to let go of the situation in the relationship? Try to imagine yourself in the place of your opponent. Perhaps it is just as hard for him now, and he too would like this situation not to happen at all.

Step 3. Ask for forgiveness

How to let go of the situation? Psychology advises to ask forgiveness from the opponent. When the level of the negative towards him drops noticeably, imagine it as brightly as if it were standing right in front of you. Ask him for forgiveness.

There is no difference who was to blame for the conflict - he or you. Simply mentally apologize to him, ask for forgiveness for the situation, tell him that you forgive him, that you do not get angry and do not hold grudges and that everything is fine.

This method, no matter how stupid it may seem at first, really helps to restore relations after the conflict, and also come to understanding and get rid of unpleasant sensations. They know you: anger, resentment, irritation, pain. You should sincerely ask forgiveness from the offender and forgive him.

If you have any problems, try again later. And the next day, too. Until you have a feeling of freedom and ease! Believe me, this is an amazing, pleasant and comfortable state.

Exercise "Letter without addressee"

If it's hard for you to imagine, try to express your thoughts and emotions in the letter. Psychological practice has a technique of therapeutic writing. It helps a person to understand himself, and also write on paper everything that does not give him rest.

What are the objectives of this technique? Getting everything from within that prevents a patient from living, does not make him feel happy and happy. The essence of technology is that a person works independently with his subconscious. Its advantage is that it is quite simple to perform and gives the opportunity to fully remove emotions without offending anyone.

Take a sheet of paper, writing a piece of paper and start writing a letter to a specific person. Write what you would like to tell him. It does not matter whether it's good or bad, write as it is, do not hide anything and do not hide anything. Such a letter does not need to be sent, so when you have finished working on it, you can tear it up, throw it out, or even burn it, hiding your thoughts from prying eyes.

Step 4. Smile

It's time for the most enjoyable!

Smile! And not tense, but so that you feel a smile with every cell of your body. Imagine, and then feel how warmth, joy and tranquility spread throughout the body. How you become joyful, easy and pleasant. Feel all the troubles, troubles and grievances come to the fore, making room for the boundless feeling of love, so joyful, beautiful and bright that you no longer need to smile with effort of will, as the smile blooms on your lips without your participation.

Stay in this state for at least a couple of minutes, enjoy the light and warmth that enveloped you. Forget about all the problems at least for this period of time and just live it - here and now.

Well, are you already feeling better?

Step 5. Get Around

If you were sitting, get up. Walk around the room, stretch the muscles. With pleasure stretch. Do you feel freedom from negative emotions? That's what it means to let go of the situation. The acquisition of freedom, tranquility and inspiration for new accomplishments is worth forgetting about the problem, especially if it is no longer possible to fix it.