How do psychologists explain the fear of communicating on the phone?

Of course, the function of the call is no longer so important in the phone, as before, you can send messages and correspond in social networks. Nevertheless, you can not completely avoid calls. There are always situations in which you need to call, for example, sometimes an interview is on the phone, sometimes you need to notify you about being late. The number of people for whom this becomes a problem is constantly growing.

Unusual problem

For some, calls are quite an ordinary situation. Others are afraid of the phobia of the phone, they find it difficult to pick up the phone, they rehearse beforehand what they say, dial the number with shaking hands and suffer from panic fear, listening to the beeps. This is normal! Psychologists explain that hatred of calls does not mean communication problems. There are people who have everything in order with communication, they are just afraid of calls. In addition, the number of such people is increasing, and the number of calls to be made per day is decreasing. This means that the state of affairs is not so critical. Either way, the phone is still needed for a variety of everyday activities. It is necessary to overcome your fear, but first you need to understand where it comes from.

You do not know what the other person is thinking about.

You may have heard that more than ninety percent of communication is non-verbal. This is not exactly accurate statistics, but the idea is correct: words are just a small part of how we communicate our thoughts. Affects and many other features, for example, facial expression, body language, gestures. All this can be seen only when you talk face to face. When you are talking on the phone, only the voice is heard. This can cause nervous tension in some people. Sometimes a completely innocuous phrase may seem tense, although in fact it was pronounced with a smile.

Complexities of perception

On the phone it is more difficult not only to understand what the other person is saying, but also to feel confident that you know that you have been understood. When we talk, we use different facial expressions. For example, raised or frowning eyebrows may indicate that you are listening carefully. On the phone this is not visible, and the conversation has to be conducted at random, not knowing if everything is in order. This can lead to embarrassment.

You have limited time

Another reason that calls people scare is limited time. When you write messages, they also do not have any non-verbal components. But time is on your side, you can gather your thoughts, edit your text, consider it, before you send it. During a phone call, you do not have this opportunity, you should think on the go, and every word matters. Of course, you can correct your words and apologize, but the effect is not the same, you have already expressed the wrong idea. All pauses, too, are of great importance. When communicating face to face, you see when a person thinks and distracts. When you are talking on the phone, any pause is frightening and makes you think that something is wrong. In addition, calls require more time than messages. Messages can be exchanged, while doing something else, but the call requires full attention. Because of this, a phone call is beginning to be perceived as a problem that you just have to put up with.

It seems to you that you are evaluated

In a sense, you are right. If you ever made a call to the company of other people, you know how awkward it can be to talk while you are listened. When you talk face to face, outsiders perceive the same for both of you. If you are talking on the phone, all attention is focused only on you. You are the only person who speaks, so this situation is inevitable. In addition, the researchers found that half the dialogue, a conversation in which you hear only one side, seems more distracting than a normal conversation. However, sometimes the reason is not in people around, but in the person with whom you are talking on the phone. No one likes to be the subject of evaluation of others. People are very social, because their survival depends on others, so that assessment naturally causes enormous stress. This is the same process as when speaking to the public, passing an interview for work and other situations of this kind. People are afraid that they will not be able to cope with the task.

Too strong self-control

Especially acute is the problem with the evaluation in the case of a conversation with a partner. A person is afraid that he will upset or let his chosen one, that the conversation will somehow affect the relationship. After all, if it was awkward to have a conversation with a help desk, you would never hear about this person again. In an interview with loved ones, everything is different. Because of this, a person begins to control himself too much, deliberately adjusting his behavior to the current situation. If you control yourself too much, the conversation can become even more awkward, the problem will become acute. You will focus only on yourself and your behavior, trying to avoid an embarrassing situation. As a result, you do not pay attention to the interlocutor, and it becomes difficult to maintain a coherent conversation.

You just talk on the phone rarely

This is the simplest reason, but it is more common. Many people today are talking on the phone quite rarely. Lack of experience causes excitement. People understand what messages are and what emoticons they use, but they do not know each other by phone, and they simply do not know the rules associated with it. It's as if a pensioner was trying to start using a social network: he would be embarrassed, because he does not know what is happening. When you talk to a person face to face, you use intuition. Talking on the phone requires knowledge of a certain etiquette. You need to know how to move from the presentation of yourself to the essence of the conversation, where to pause, how to finish the conversation. All this requires some practice.

How to cope with your fear?

Unfortunately for many, the best way to cope with the fear of phone calls is regular practice. Consider this a way of training: the more you call, the easier it is for you to do it. Approach the calls from a special point of view, strategically transform what you think before the call. For example, if you are afraid to disturb a person, think about the fact that a really busy person will simply not pick up the phone. If you are afraid of getting confused in words, think about your mistake beforehand. Understand that your interlocutor talked for a day not only with you and probably already heard reservations and up to you. What you think is a huge problem will not even attract the attention of another person. After that, you can try to set a specific goal. For example, try to call someone and normally talk for five minutes. Do not put too vague a goal, for example, to plan simply not to sound too excited on the phone. It is impossible to evaluate objectively. The key to success is to start small and gradually move to more complex tasks. If you are afraid to talk, start with those calls that will have a clearer and more formal structure, to which you can write a draft in advance. Try to say some key phrases out loud. In this case, you can easily dial the number and start the conversation with confidence.