Friendship is the key to success

I recently conducted classes with my "difficult" teenagers. "Friendship. What is this? "- that was the topic of our conversation. My boys and girls prepared for this activity with great pleasure. Found a lot of statements of famous people, many proverbs. I have a peculiar group, the guys often do not have enough attention, so they did not miss the opportunity to speak and stay in the spotlight. The result of the lessons was unexpected for me.

It turns out that some of my players do not agree with the fact that friendship is, first of all, spiritual intimacy. Not all, but a part of the guys on the question of what friendship is in their personal opinion, in the first place put forward not very lofty definitions. That's how their answers sounded:

- Friendship is when it's fun to hang out together. (Quote).

- This is when you can count on help, take something there or take money. (Quote).

- Friendship is if you walk with a friend, you spend time. (Quote).

I, of course, took into account that all my teenagers are not from well-off families, but this attitude towards the concept of "Friendship" has greatly upset me. And I decided to continue the conversation without questioning.

It turned out that my children, in general, understand that friendship should be disinterested, that it implies emotional attachment. After reading a lot of quotes and sayings (unfortunately, not in books but in social networks), they speculatively know that true friendship is a readiness for patience, boundless confidence, the ability to rush to any help, even the most unexpected moment, to support one's companion .

But it was to this that the teenagers were not ready. In a sincere conversation they shared with me their fears.

- You say that friendship is trust. What if I tell my girlfriend something, but she will talk to everyone? Alice worried.

- Is it really necessary to share their experiences, especially negative ones, with someone, to pour out their emotions on someone, is not considered self-interest? "- asked the more well-read Anton.

There were many opinions and doubts, it's good that the guys do not hesitate to talk to me about what worries them. And I made one, very unpleasant conclusion for myself.

We often talk about the loneliness of people in a big city. Many of us are not ready to emotionally open up to another person, are not ready to put their friend's interests above their own. Do we need to do this in the modern world? The issue is controversial and also ambiguous.

Just one thing: people who do not have at least one true friend, are often deeply unhappy.

But when we talk about loneliness, we do not think at all that we are alone, not only through our own fault, but also through the fault of our teachers and parents. I know how teachers will turn against me now. I know how hard their job is: she has worked with teenagers for many years. But, you see, telling children about the lives of great people, their friends and loved ones, we often do not affect the soul of our children. We do not say that friendship is an unconditional condition for the harmonious existence of man. Friends have one heart for two, one values, one worldview. We are not talking about the fact that you can not choose a friend on purpose. Friendship arises only where there is mutual understanding, intercourse without any sexual overtones.

True friendship is the greatest emotional attachment, the desire for a common perspective, understanding on an intuitive level, boundless trust.

And all this must necessarily teach children. Learn to help and tolerate, teach to trust and trust, teach to communicate.

How to do it? A difficult question, on which it is impossible to give an unambiguous answer. Probably, it is necessary to teach the children to respect others, to be able to forgive, to listen to the opinion of comrades, to struggle with one's own selfishness. And still need to teach children loyalty, devotion to patience, develop their normal self-esteem. A child who believes in himself can rather open himself up to meet another person and accept his emotional attachment.

It is necessary to teach this from birth and not so much in words as by one's own behavior, by example, by all his way of life.

If we, parents and teachers, have real friends, if we are sociable and respect others, our children will also grow successful, prosperous, understanding that real friendship makes life richer, more emotional, more successful.