Who is the first to give a hand at a greeting on etiquette?

At a meeting it is accepted to shake hands. This is shown by openness, cordiality, readiness for further contact. But even with a handshake, people who consider themselves educated, adhere to certain rules regarding the question of who is the first to give a hand at the greeting. What does etiquette prescribe?

Why is it accepted to stretch out your hand when you meet?

The custom of shaking hands at a meeting came to us from ancient times. And in every period of time this gesture was attributed to various meanings. There is a hypothesis that in the primitive tribes, the handshake of men was a kind of test of strength: whoever shakes hands more tightly, is stronger. Such a brief duel began each meeting. In some other tribes, the willingness of a man to reach out showed his purity of intentions: the hand is stretched, the palm is open, there is no weapon in it, so this man is not to be feared.

In ancient Rome, people were good at cunning, and the outstretched hand did not always mean friendliness. The warriors learned how to hide a small dagger in the sleeve, and with the usual handshake it could not be noticed. Therefore, the description mentions the practice of shaking the wrist, not the palm of one's hand. First it was done for security reasons, then it became a tradition: when a man met, holding his hands at the level of the waist, they squeezed each other's wrists.

But in Japan samurai shook hands before the fight, and this gesture told the enemy: "Get ready for death."

The meaning of the handshake in our day

In those distant times, people did not attach importance to the one who should give his hand first. The common and regulated rules of etiquette handshake was only in the 19th century. Only men could give each other hands, this gesture was not characteristic of women, and was considered tactless. Later shaking hands became popular in business circles: they were fastened by deals, showed the location for further communication. Nowadays, there is nothing wrong with shaking hands with a lady, especially if this happens in a business setting.

The custom to shake hands when meeting is more common in countries of Europe and America. In Asia, he is less popular: there is a sign of respect is a bow or a certain folding of hands. But in business circles in Asian countries, a handshake is also appropriate.

Rules of courtesy when meeting

In most cases, a person can not imagine himself: he must be represented. A man is supposed to represent a woman. Those who are younger in age - people who are older. A person occupying a higher position in society represents someone who is at a lower level. This is considered an indicator of good breeding. If you need to introduce your family to colleagues or friends, then they are called spouse and children, and when acquainted with their parents they are represented by friends or colleagues as a sign of respect for older age. Who is the first to give a hand when meeting? It is the person to whom they represent others, regardless of gender and age.

Is it possible to introduce myself?

Are there situations when it is appropriate for a person to introduce himself to strangers? Yes, it is possible, for example, at a business dinner, a banquet, a party to establish business ties. In this case, it is permissible to approach the person of interest, to introduce himself, to name the scope of activity and the company and to extend the business card.

If you need to introduce yourself to a woman who is in the company of a man, you should first meet her boyfriend and then only be introduced to the lady.

Acquaintance is not only in the handshake. Very important is a good-natured, disposed smile and a direct look in the face of the interlocutor. To take your eyes off while you are dating is considered bad form.

A few "impossible", or How not to be ignorant

Yes, yes, ignorance of these seemingly small things can expose a man ignorant in a matter of seconds. So, at acquaintance and at any meeting, according to the generally accepted rules of politeness, one should not:

• Do not shake the outstretched hand (this can be perceived as a profound insult);
• Hand in hand, keep the other in your pocket;
• Keep a cigarette in your hand (in general it is undesirable to hold something in hands, especially when shaking hands);
• Leave your hand in the glove, greeting with the lady (a woman can leave a glove if she is part of the toilet, a glove, but not a mitten!);
• Look around, in the floor or up, show indifference;
• When meeting with a group of people to give a hand only to one of them;
• To stay seated when meeting a lady or an older person, especially if they are at the same time;
• Do not know the simple rules about who is the first to give a hand for a handshake.

Greeting at an unexpected meeting

Almost hourly, we greet someone: neighbors in the stairwell, a saleswoman, who every morning we buy coffee, colleagues, close or barely familiar people, relatives ... Who is the first to give a hand at the greeting? How not to put yourself or your partner in an embarrassing situation? Let's consider some cases.

If friends met on the street or in a public place, do not be too vocal to express their emotions and attract the attention of others. Having seen a familiar person in the distance, you can limit yourself with a nod or a wave of the hand. If the distance allows, it is appropriate to shake hands and briefly exchange phrases (do not start a long conversation, because a person can hurry somewhere). Who is the first to give a hand at a meeting? Etiquette prescribes this initiative to those who are older in age or occupy a more important social position.

At an unexpected meeting with a close person, short embraces, pattings are appropriate, in some countries even kisses on the cheek or gesture of "cheek to cheek." But if you have met a business partner, a person older than you or a distant acquaintance, such manifestations of emotions can be regarded as familiarity.

Can a woman give her hand first?

Who is the first to give a hand, a man or a woman? Only a lady can give a hand for a handshake. A man is supposed to either shake an outstretched hand, or bring it to his lips for a kiss. In past centuries, it was permissible to kiss a hand only to a married woman, but in modern rules of good tone, there are no such restrictions.

Greetings of a barely familiar person

Do I need to greet people who are hardly familiar? Yes! Even if you do not remember the name of this person or can not remember where you saw his face, it is better to still be courteous and say hello. Of course, in this case it is enough to say a greeting, nod or raise your hat. Stormy manifestations of joy will look unnatural, and therefore completely unnecessary.

Greeting at a scheduled meeting

Suppose we are talking about meeting friends at a party, in a restaurant, at a social reception, in a theater, or in any public place. This is not an accidental meeting on the run, and going to the event, a person knows who he will meet there. How should you behave and who is the first to give a hand at a meeting? In this case, the one who is younger or occupies a lesser position should approach and greet the first. But when it comes to who is the first to give a hand - the senior or junior - then this initiative is shown by those who are older.

Welcome rules at a party

When you come to visit, you must say hello to the owner of the house and the guests present. The host should shake hands, and greeting the others, you can limit yourself to bowing and greeting phrases. It is more appropriate for the hostess to kiss her hand.

When meeting with a group of people, you do not need to shake hands with everyone, enough of a common bow. But if you shook hands with one of these people, you should shake it to everyone else. Who is the first to give a hand at the greeting in this case? The one who comes to the group. Before the handshake, the gloves should be removed, as well as the headgear.

If you want to say hello to people sitting at the table, a sign of ill-bredness is the stretching of the arm across the table. It is more polite to limit yourself to a verbal greeting or a slight bow.

In a situation where people who greet each other have a noticeable age difference, the question often arises: who is the first to give a hand, the elder or the younger? The rules of etiquette say that the initiative for a handshake can only be shown by a senior in age. The same rule applies to people who are at different stages of the career ladder: the hand is held by the one who is higher than the rank.

Welcome rules in business

The rules of courtesy in the business sphere are subject to the same principles. To greet the first it is necessary to the one who is below a rank. If a person enters a room where there is already a group of people, then the incoming one is greeted first - regardless of the position or age.

Who is the first to give a hand at the greeting during business communication? In reverse order, the principle of "top-down". One should not forget the general rule: shaking hands of one person assumes the same gesture with respect to other persons. Otherwise, you should limit yourself to polite words and a general nod of your head.

In the case when the subordinate enters the office to the chief, the latter may not interrupt his business or conversation, but according to the rules of politeness he should greet the person who entered with words or at least with a gesture. In the reverse situation, when the boss enters the subordinate, it is supposed to interrupt the conversation or the case (if any, and this will not be incorrect with respect to a third party) and pay attention to the head.

Let's generalize the told

Etiquette - a delicate matter, but quite logical, because all the rules of good tone are subordinated to one: do not offend another person, behave so that communication was mutually agreeable. If you happen to get confused in ranks and age, if you are afraid of appearing impolite, it's unwise to offend, one more rule should be remembered: the more polite will be the one who first hands out at the handshake, who first greets, who will first pay attention. If you are in doubt, say hello or not - say hello, extend your hand or not - stretch. Let you be a person who has forgotten some subtlety of etiquette, but you will show cordiality and respect.

But there is one simple scheme that helps to remember who is supposed to be the first to say hello and who is the first to give a hand on etiquette. We greet on the principle of "from the smaller to the larger" (the younger - with the senior, the subordinate - with the boss, the man - with the woman). We extend the hand on the principle of "from the greatest to the less", since the handshake is a kind of privilege, an honorable token of attention, and this gesture is relied on by the more "important" person (the elder stretches out his hand to the younger, the boss subordinates, the woman to the man).

In addition to the handshake, do not forget about the welcome kind words, having gestures and a friendly smile - the absolute trump card in any communication!