Relations, A break up
What can lead to a pause in the relationship?
Understanding the opposite sex can be very difficult. There are complications that can not be resolved without a common desire, frankness, mutual understanding. It happens that all attempts seem futile. Is it possible to argue that a pause in a relationship is a healing tool that can restore a cracked love?
Lack of incentive
If there is a need to move away, nothing good is said about it. In principle, running away from problems is a sign of a weak nature. Or the desire of partners to be together is so small that they do not want to resolve the contradictions that have arisen.
The relations should work both
In youth, we are often told that we will feel love when we meet it, that everything will happen naturally. And we dutifully believe in this, we wait for our second half, looking at the clock and asking fate: "Maybe it's time? Why am I still alone? What is wrong with me? "
The fact is that in order for interaction to take place between the sexes, at least one side should show interest, activity, initiative. But in our cynical age, it often happens that one partner winds circles around the other, leads round dances, like near a New Year tree, while the second revels in its splendor in the rays of someone else's adoration.
A pause in a relationship can arise when a lover more a partner raises his own dignity from the floor, turns around and goes looking for someone who will appreciate him more. Although for him, in fact, all relationships were one continuous pause and time spent.
When the goal is achieved
To the attention of lovers, it is worth explaining what it means to pause in a relationship after a stormy period of passion. For example, a representative of the fair sex for a month looked after a young man. Moreover, with all the passion and desire. And when they reach mutual enthusiasm, it disappears from the horizon, just disappears somewhere. Although everything was so wonderful.
Naturally, everything was good for the girl, because she felt needed, desired, sometimes even too much. In my head, questions immediately pop up: "What have I done wrong?", "Maybe he has another?" Or, perhaps, there are good reasons.
But for some reason before, no obstacles prevented him from rushing to her through the whole city, even if not for intimacy, then at least for an ordinary meeting. A partner is just beginning to like. Women in general in this regard are not so quick to kill as men. They can take a long time to look, but so warm up in the heart that the sudden disappearance of a young man plunges them into the deepest moral disorder.
What is the solution?
I want to believe that this is just a pause in the relationship. What can I do to finish it and return it to the same delightful regime?
As a rule, attempts to win a guy or return him to reproaches and appeals to a sense of pity end in a real failure. In general, very few men are able to feel sympathy for someone other than themselves. So the only way to interest him is to show that the girl, in general, and without it, is not bad. Of course, it's also good, but apart from their communication in the world, there are many more interesting things. Only in this case, the guy thinks that he misses something pleasant for himself, and does not get rid of the burden, which will burden him.
Self-discovery
Many fall into the extremes of self-interest when there is a pause in relations. How to behave is half the battle. A completely different story is to understand with your mind that the problem is not in you. Thanks to the sad thoughts of a lost love, no beautiful verse or melody was born, but for the soul they are extremely painful, especially when a person suffers from ignorance and feels sorry for himself. After all, he was underestimated, turned away, and it's unclear why.
It often happens that a pause in a relationship causes an even greater feeling for the object of adoration. After all, if a person has left, he is better than us. And in this case it is worth to strive for him, to hold on to him. Although, most likely, you are not very good at each other, your positive qualities are not seen or considered as such, adoration was used only as a fertilizer for the growth of your own ego, your feelings did not want to learn and share your own.
What to do?
Logically, in such a situation it would be worth considering that it makes no sense to chase a man who turns away from you. But during the time of falling in love, feelings prevail over the mind, a man becomes possessed by passion and instincts, from which everything rational simply flips by somersault.
Perhaps you have something to say to your partner, behaving too detached and secretive. How can he know who you are, if you do not want to tell it? In order not to carry a load on the heart, it is better to express all your thoughts in a calm manner.
It is extremely important that the negligent word of the partner does not make you angry and does not make it sound all the bit sharper than planned. Then the pause will turn into the end of the relationship. Usually people turn around and leave when they see that they are put in conditions, locked in frames, restricting freedom. Despite all the pleasant moments experienced together, most will give preference to the right of their own choice.
What if it does not work?
If after you ease the soul, quietly asking all the questions that interest you and expressing your thoughts, the desired effect will not be achieved and a happy reunion of the couple in love will not happen, it just needs to be accepted.
Deciding to take a break in the relationship, the partner shows that he does not need you, which is good without you and the silence for him is much better than your voice. The only hope is an understatement, with the elimination of which there will be mutual understanding.
It is much more difficult to languish from ignorance than to experience a little shame, but at the same time learn everything that interests you. And we really tremble before those we love, we are afraid to say the wrong word, frighten off. But if you have to maneuver and shake in order to communicate with a person, as if you are going on roller skates on a bench with china, can you yourself relax and get joy in such relationships?
Having built hopes and the image of a happy future, people spend months on waiting, courting a partner and believing that, apparently, he is just hindered by some circumstances. The desire to pause the relationship will not appear in the one who loves and respects you.
It is worthwhile to act cautiously
The most important thing is to do everything possible for your part, and if the response does not follow, you just need to accept it, and not torment yourself with unrequited love. Lovers often fall into two extremes:
Excessive secrecy, fear and word to say about your own feelings;
When you already do not have the strength and emotions have reached the limit, there is literally an eruption of the volcano - outward bursts of lava flows, burning everything in its path, including the slightest chance of reconciliation.
Beware of both of these two evils, look for the golden mean, be yourself, because to wear a mask and be good, feeling that you do not care at all, will not succeed.
There is always a chance
Is everything so hopeless? After all, it happens that couples converge again. Of course, such situations have a place to be. But this requires a desire on the part of both partners. No doubt, no one is perfect.
It is extremely difficult to meet a person for at least a year and not to make mistakes. There are no saints among us, and ideal relations, like a blue sky without a single cloud, exist only in the pages of books. If the initiator of the temporary break will rethink the situation and change its line of behavior, everything has a chance to form. It often happens that after a pause in a relationship a new round of feeling begins.
There is a wonderful film by American director Jerry Rees entitled "The habit of getting married". According to his story, the characters, played by Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, appeared five times before the altar. Their history is full of passion and vivid emotions, although it did not do without, of course, without complications. However, the partners, one way or another, returned to each other's arms. Those who are in deep thought about the further development of their own personal life, it will be extremely useful to spend time watching this romantic comedy.
Keep respect for yourself and your partner
Never say never"! It's hard to say how long the pause in the relationship lasts. Each pair is different. It happens that people do not see for years, and then a new feeling breaks out between them.
In any case, a love affair must flow out of good will, and not because of handcuffed marriage. It often happens that, getting used to your second half, we take it for granted, we stop appreciating, but after parting for a while, we become like a traveler in the desert, who wants to drink water from his own well.
There is a well-known phrase: "Love - let go. If your - will return. Otherwise, you never were. " So it's best to show your partner as clearly as possible that you are interested in him. If he wants to leave is his right, he wants to return - he is always welcome.
In that case, you will feel much better than if you roll a scandal with beating cymbals and shouting: "I gave you the best years of my life!" If you love, let go ... This is not just about adoring a partner, but about Your love for yourself. Self-esteem is the core of the personality, which should not break the uncontrolled game of hormones. And all the disagreements that have arisen will be resolved with the consent of both parties.
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