Rudeness - deviation from politeness

Roughness for all that refers to this concept is a deviation from a certain standard or measure. For example, a rough board - means, not processed, not planed and not polished, that is not corresponding to our representations about a standard board. Rough features are described in the example of Sobakevich - hero of the poem by N. Gogol "Dead Souls". Nature, creating his face, "chopped from all over the shoulder: it took an ax once, a nose came out, another one took off, lips came out, and with a large drill they threw up their eyes and, without scraping, cast them into the light ...". In the mass consciousness there is a representation of what kind of person can be considered symmetrical and correct. Deviation from the standard makes it rude, as in the case of Sobakevich. In other words, roughness is always some unfinishedness, uncouthness, rawness, unpolishedness, unwillingness, that is, deviation from the standard defined by our representations. The greater the deviation, the more rudeness.

By standard behavior, we usually mean polite behavior that conforms to certain norms, social prescriptions and conventions. Roughness in relationships is a deviation from politeness. Rudeness, like rudeness, also reflects a deviation from politeness. Both concepts are contrary to politeness, but there are several differences that give a qualitatively different picture to the deviation. Rudeness is not directed at the deliberate infliction of harm to people, on humiliation of human dignity, deliberate insult of the interlocutor. Evil for rudeness is not a goal, although it is often a consequence of it. Rudeness, as a rule, serves as a response or protective reaction to certain circumstances. Unlike rudeness, rudeness transcends all conceivable and unthinkable moral norms. Paradox, but rudeness can be dressed up in politeness clothes: polite words can be naham much more effective than straightforward rudeness. Often rudeness enjoys the humiliation of another person. It adores impunity and anonymity. Obgadit staircase, say abomination by phone to a stranger, humiliate other users on the Internet - this is the hand of rudeness. Rudeness likes direct contact with people or situations. It is curious that in a sanctimonious, stiff, mannered environment, such qualities as honesty and sincerity will look like rudeness and even rudeness. Everything depends on the moral foundations of society.

Insolence, impudence and unceremoniousness can not be commensurate on a scale of courtesy. As they say, flies separately, cutlets separately. Impudence is commensurable with modesty, impudence with shame, and impudence with ceremoniousness. Insolence, in contrast to rudeness, generally has a different orientation. The impudence is always directed at a force that is far superior to it. Rudeness and rudeness are usually aimed at weakness. When explaining the causes of roughness by nervous breakdown, fatigue or irritation, I want to ask: "Why do your nerves stand when you meet with force? Why do you hide irritation in front of the boss? "

We must understand that politeness, as a starting point for the degree of rudeness, is a relative concept. In a highly cultured family, one understanding of courtesy, and if in the primary cell of society obscene expressions become the language of communication, then the understanding of rudeness is blurred here. Rudeness, like politeness, is a relative term. Imagine that we are in one of the cells among the gladiators in the inner premises of the Colosseum. In the next cage our future opponent rushes before the battle, and we address him: "Dear sir. Be kind enough to give me mercy - to smile. " - "Are you mocking, cattle? Are you rude? You do not have long to be rude, "he replies. As you can see, depending on the circumstances, politeness can be perceived as rudeness. In a criminal world where the "Do not believe, do not be afraid, do not ask" principle operates, rudeness is also natural and harmonious, as is alien and unnatural politeness.

Rudeness must necessarily understand the following. Every word we utter must be friendly, calm and supportive. The word is focused a huge force. To underestimate the energy of the word is a great stupidity, which is fraught with sad consequences. Rudeness, whatever nature it has, leads to the destruction of happiness, suffering and pain. Rude speech inevitably leads to suffering. Rudeness and pacification do not get along. The ruffian deprives himself of the opportunity to live in harmony with himself and with the outside world. When there is no peace in a person, happiness is impossible. You can tell a person extremely unpleasant things, even a death sentence, and not offend him if the words are spoken in a calm, affable tone. They do not offend at what they said, but at what they said, in what tone. The degree of roughness is influenced, first of all, by the tone. Bad tone means violence. The person thinks, since he speaks in such a rude tone, with anger and irritation, which means that he also speaks not truthfully and not truthfully. If he speaks rudely, then he is not right. A conflict is born.

Rudeness also needs to know that our subconscious mind takes all the spoken words into a strange address to their own account. It does not understand the pronoun "he", "she", "they". Grub, insulting others, actually insults himself and thereby destroys his self-esteem, destroys his ego. Which organism will withstand if he is constantly humiliated, insulted and called? Why do pets have such a beneficial effect on our health? The secret is simple - every day a dog approaches you, and you iron it, saying: "My good. Clever. Well done". Your subconscious mind catches that you are good, smart and, besides, well done.

The uncouth man, Sobakevich, is clearly not friendly with the politeness scale. His rudeness slapped politeness, like a bored fly. The chairman at Sobakevich - "such a fool as the light did not produce"; The governor - "the first robber in the world ... and the face of a robber"; "Give him only a knife and let him out on the big road - it will kill"; "He is still vice-governor - Goga and Magog." The police master is a "fraudster, he will sell, he will deceive, he will also have dinner with you". Summarizing his judgment on officials, he says: "These are all scammers; The whole city there is this: a con man on a cheater sits and drives a rascal. All the christian sellers. There is only one there is a decent man: the prosecutor; And he, if you tell the truth, a pig. "

A man like Sobakevich is rude because of the nature of his nature. He did not learn to express his views in a decent decent form. Often people are rude to increase self-esteem. Sometimes rudeness is born out of the desire to gain respect for their friends and the recognition of the strength of others, and sometimes from imitating the brutal behavior of their literary or film heroes. Rudeness can be the result of ugly stereotypes of thinking and living conditions, in which it is also relevant, like water, food and air. And sometimes the reasons are altogether trite - a recent quarrel with a friend, family problems, trouble at work or a chronic illness.

In Sobakevich's bearish rudeness, there is no shyness. When the guest during lunch, he accuses the cook: "I bought that chef-cook that I learned from a Frenchman, a cat, he catches him, and he serves me on the table instead of dinner." Rudeness does not want to reckon with the feelings of other people, nor with the peculiarities of circumstances. Sobakevich neotesan, like a log, he is sure that the sun rises for his sake, that life will stop without his guardianship.

Sobakevich, as a natural boor, feels superior to other landlords. What can we say about ordinary peasants? From the feeling of one's own superiority, there is a growing disdain for everything living. Once you obey rudeness, and the trap of superiority and submission snaps. The onset of rudeness continues, despite the fact that you are already in the trap. Rudeness destroys the dignity of a person who is in a trap of submission. A wolf trapped in a trap is able to gnaw out a paw. So a person, brought to the "handle", makes desperate attempts to free himself. Passion of passion is so great that it often ends in tragedy. In other words, when the deviation from politeness exceeds reasonable limits, then it means to be in trouble. Excessive unrestrained rudeness can not pass unchecked. Treat coarseness as the absurdity of a wretched, self-conscious being. You will not be angry with the parrot, who will shout: "Dura". The rudeness of another person touches us exactly as much as it is contained within us. A holy person does not touch the rudeness, rudeness and impudence of others, because these qualities are absent. Rudeness likes demonstrativeness, so it's wise not to pay attention to it. Calm behavior, indulgence and humor can neutralize rudeness.

At the same time, no male rudeness can be compared with the strength of a woman's rude word. It's no secret that women are several times better than men who are able to concentrate on feelings. Why do women prefer to quarrel with a man rather than a woman? Male rough word is superficial, it has little destructive energy. "My mother comes to us," says his wife. - "What?" - "Numbers?" - "Horseradish" - "How can you talk so rudely to me about my mommy?" We are still ladies, "his wife cries. "I know you, lady, for a long time," replies the husband. A completely different calico, when the wife is calm, with an icy expression of her face says to her husband: "Bastard." Sometimes one rough woman's word is enough to hit the menacing man on the spot. Her rudeness hits right into her heart. In other words, female rudeness causes a panic on the politeness scale.

Rudeness in a woman denies femininity and raises hostility, resentment and bellicosity. A woman with apparent rudeness sees the surrounding world as a battlefield. A man with developed masculine qualities, respecting his masculine nature, will not sink to a duel with such a woman, so their roads can not cross. The rudeness in a woman is rudeness in a male jerk. Two of a Kind. Like attracts like. Roughness for roughness gives rudeness in the square. This "cheerful" family will be known by all the neighbors and the district police. Local dogs will be interested in learning from their experience how skillfully barking alien dogs.

If a friend was suddenly and not a friend and not an enemy, and so ... So - this is not about a friend of a rude. A polite friend will think a hundred times to inform you of impending troubles, is it appropriate to warn you about something or about someone. By observing decency, a precautionary polite friend sees friendship through the prism of conventions, norms of behavior, etiquette. Outside of the friendship are "souls wonderful impulses", sincerity, spontaneity and openness of relations. At the forefront of friendship is politeness. At roughness absolutely other disposition. If she accepted you as you are, she will defend herself as herself. To be friends, so be friends, that is, disinterestedly take care of a friend is the unshakable principle of rudeness in friendship.