Self improvementPsychology

Dissatisfied Desires

Each of us in life there were unsatisfied desires. Very painful such conditions when it comes to love relationships and not only. Dissatisfied desires often force people to look for problems in their external data, character traits, etc. This can help them to see some shortcomings, but, on the other hand, because of inept self-contemplation, the dissatisfaction of desires can lead to a deep sense of inferiority.
An unpleasant feeling of dissatisfaction with desires is reinforced by such a trait as dreaminess: "I want to be the mistress of the sea and command the goldfish." Dreaminess and separation from reality intensifies in general any unpleasant emotions. Excessive and inappropriate imagination corrupts thinking. And the harm from dreaminess is this: the inconsistency of reality with our dreams creates despondency, sadness. If a person begins to unnecessarily anticipate the upcoming pleasant experience, he weakens the pleasure that he will receive from a real event (after all, the film viewed the second time is not as interesting as the first one).
It also reinforces the feeling that unfulfilled desires form, the unconsciousness of desires. Sometimes, a person experiences an inexplicable longing, but this is often caused by the dissatisfaction of desire, which we did not realize. And if realized, then vaguely - it's us and leads to despondency. The best way to improve your mood in this case is to realize your desires.
We need to ask ourselves questions and try to give ourselves a logical, well-reasoned answer. If you experience suffering, and you feel that this may be due to some unsatisfied desire, ask yourself such questions. What needs do I want (or wanted / wanted) to satisfy in the course of this action (work, events, communication)? Such needs may be the need for prestige (recognition, approval), communication, necessary knowledge. What pleasure do I foresee from carrying out this action (attention, care, help, approval, sympathy)? Or: what kind of unpleasant sensations do I want to get rid of? For example, I envy a successful employee. I need to talk about this, and not with anyone. In this case I will be uncomfortable not only with envy, but also with an unsatisfied desire to gloat, but if I realize what need I did not satisfy and specifically what actions or words I expected from the interlocutor, it will become easier for me. It is necessary to imagine the specific behavior of other people that you expect from them and that would satisfy your desire. What is the value of these actions for you, what are their consequences? What other options are there in which your need would be satisfied? Why do you think this person or these circumstances are the best for satisfying the desire?
If you write the answers to these questions in writing, it will be even better than mere thought. The more detailed the answer to each question will be, the better. This will help to remove the severity of the state in which you have been thrown unsatisfied desire. And do not forget that the clarity of thought, when everything is "laid out on the shelves," and the imagination is under control, is the best defense against any melancholy. Good luck!

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