What is more important - to love or be loved? What does it mean to love?

There is nothing more beautiful than loving and knowing that this is mutual. A lot of couples happily live in a marriage and enjoy their feelings. However, why do some people have a question: "What is more important - to love or be loved?" Why should a person make such a choice? Is it possible to be happy in such a situation?

What does it mean to love?

Love is the highest feeling that is characteristic of a person and is expressed in deep affection and sympathy for someone. In philosophy, it is seen as a subjective attitude to the object of adoration.

It is important to understand what the word "love" means, and how to distinguish it from falling in love. The latter, as a rule, is accompanied by a storm of emotions and passions, however it is not long-term. Only if the relationship becomes serious and time-tested, you can talk about love.

Each person has his own view of the world, special values and ideals. Accordingly, the answer to the question "what does it mean to love and how should it be manifested" is also individual for all. There are no uniform norms and criteria for this feeling. What is completely unacceptable in a relationship for one person is the norm for another.

Love and happiness

Every person has his own ideas about happiness. Someone thinks that it consists in a huge amount of money, for someone it's an interesting job, someone sees it as an opportunity to travel. However, most people associate happiness with love. Only she gives us unusual, not at all similar emotions, which we so much want to experience again and again.

Experiencing parting or divorce, people experience such a strong shock that sometimes they do not want to live any longer. It seems to them that happiness has forever left their home. Someone tries to quickly forget and again fall in love, some still fail to recover after separation.

The desire to be loved

In every human being, nature wants to be loved. From birth, the child needs maternal caress and care. Then, growing up, young people tend to find their soul mate. There is no such girl who never dreamed of being loved and happy.

Everyone likes attention signs, compliments, gifts, care from the people of the opposite sex. Even if a person does not feel reciprocated, to realize that someone loves you, it's pretty nice. It increases self-esteem, warms self-esteem. To know that someone in this world loves you and needs you, fine.

The need of man to love

No less important is the person's need to experience the brightest feelings towards someone. In their youth, boys and girls are open to love and only wait for someone to whom it can be brought down. That's why it's so easy for young people to find their ideal and dissolve into it.

There is nothing more beautiful than a sense of love. At the same time, time seems to stop, and life acquires a new meaning. Lovers look forward to each new meeting with each other, and thoughts constantly take them to the object of adoration. Even if feelings are unrequited, they do not only bring suffering. If a person is able to fall in love once in his life, he knows what true happiness is.

Causes that lead to people refusing to love

The need for both loving and being loved is inherent in man by nature. What leads to the fact that some people do not manage to find mutual feelings? Why do they ask themselves what is more important - to love or be loved?

As a rule, failures and problems with previous partners can lead to the fact that a person wants to close forever from love. Some people completely abandon any relationship, temporarily or forever doomed to loneliness. Others decide that having a family is still necessary, but at the same time once again they fall in love with someone and do not want to. In this situation, they come to the fact that you need to look for a partner who would love them. At the same time they do not want to feel any feelings, they want to be indifferent.

Another reason why you can let yourself be loved is calculation. Very often girls marry a wealthy person, without feeling any feelings for him, and sometimes even completely hating him. In some situations, such an act is pushed by despair. For example, a woman left with a small child in her arms without a livelihood, is forced to take advantage of the protection of a wealthy gentleman, if there is such an opportunity. There are, by the way, men who do not mind living at the expense of a lady. The prospect of a secure and carefree life for such people is placed above the senses.

Loving without reciprocity

Sometimes a person decides that the main thing for him is to love himself, no matter what. The coldness and indifference of the partner are not taken into account in this case. Such a person experiences such strong feelings that he does not represent his life without an object of adoration and is ready to be with him on any terms.

Often you can face a situation where the wife loves her husband madly. She turns a blind eye to his infidelity, tries to please him in everything, follows his appearance, perfectly prepares, but can not get the reciprocity from the husband. As a rule, such a woman understands that all her actions will not lead to anything, but she does not decide for a divorce. She does not imagine herself without her husband, believes that it is better to live than to break off relations forever.

In marriages, where a man is much older than his wife, the reciprocity of feelings is also often absent. An elderly person understands that a young girl does not like him and lives with him for money, but agrees to such a relationship. There are several reasons for this. Firstly, he is pleased to appear with such a companion in public. Envy of friends and acquaintances warms his male pride. Secondly, he perfectly understands that to find the same young girl who sincerely would have loved him, he will not succeed, but because he does not initially expect reciprocal feelings.

Self-esteem and love

It's no secret that self-esteem and love are closely connected. They exert great influence on each other and are constantly in close dependence.

When a person hears from someone the phrase "I love you", regardless of whether he is reciprocated or not, his self-esteem immediately rises. If you are constantly the object of attention of people of the opposite sex, you feel self-confidence and feel attractive and desirable. In turn, this is even more attracting to you the ecstatic views of others.

Failures in relationships can have a negative impact on self-esteem. It is aggravated at times, if the partner kept saying day after day that you will never find anyone better than him, constantly pointed to your shortcomings and criticized all your actions. All this leads to the fact that self-esteem is lowered so much that you cease to consider yourself worthy to be with your loved one and build a normal relationship.

It is necessary to remember one thing: that someone fell in love with you, you must first of all have respect for yourself and not lose your dignity. Relations in which you are humiliated and offended, it is better to interrupt as soon as possible. Having adequate self-esteem, you will certainly meet someone with whom you will be happy. And you will certainly learn how to be your favorite.

If only one likes ...

It would seem that the problems in an alliance in which one loves, and the second only allows oneself to love, should be less than in the ordinary pair. Anyone who experiences this feeling, enjoys closeness with a partner, rejoices at each moment spent together. The one who allows himself to love is not jealous, does not worry, does not require excessive attention, does not roll scandals, if, for example, the spouse does not pick up the phone or stayed at work. However, in such a union of problems more than usual. And it's hard for both partners to be happy.

Not experiencing any feelings for the spouse and living with him side by side every day, a person begins to get angry and get frustrated because of every little thing. It annoys absolutely everything that a partner does or says, even if he tries to please everything. A person seeks to spend as much time as possible outside the house, ignoring the spouse, looking for an outlet on the side.

The same one who sincerely loves a partner can not be happy, faced with constant indifference on his part. Even if at first the person agrees to any conditions, later he will more and more miss the reciprocal feelings. He increasingly begins to think about what is more important - to love or be loved. It is likely that one day his patience will come to an end, and he decides to build relationships based on reciprocity.

Is it possible to live without love?

Sometimes, after experiencing a terrible disappointment on the love front, people decide for themselves that there will be no relationship in their lives anymore. They do not think that it's more important - to love or be loved, but simply to put an end to your personal life.

Most often these people go to work with their heads, devote themselves to children, try to find some hobby. They reject all kinds of attention signs, refuse visits and behave coldly with people of the opposite sex. As a rule, women generally do not admit men to themselves. Representatives of the stronger sex behave somewhat differently. Men decide for themselves that they will never say "I love you". They often allow easy, non-binding relationships, but then stop them as soon as they feel pressure from the partner.

Is it possible to live without love? Perhaps, yes, and many succeed. The only question is whether these people are happy ...