To glue a broken cup or how to build a relationship with her husband

In each family there may be problems with mutual understanding. This is an absolutely normal process. Rather, they make the pair's impeccable relations to be pricked up. After all, there are no perfect people, which means that such a family idyll, in fact, can be skillfully played out as a farce. That's only theatrical actors after the performance does not have broken hearts and psychological disorders. If in your life with your loved life there was discord, do not despair. It is better to calmly analyze the situation and honestly answer yourself to the question: how to establish relations with her husband and whether it should be done at all?

The period of passion and love, the first happy months lived together, and sometimes even years, successfully hide from us the shortcomings of a loved one. That is, we certainly notice that the husband is too modest or too fond of shopping late in the company of charming strangers, but the obliging subconscious mind immediately whispers: he is a real man, or he is the soul of the company. Over time, these "virtues" turn into obvious imperfections, become more visible, start to cause irritation, which is the first sign of a family crisis. If the flaws of your spouse suddenly become intolerable for you, think: maybe it's worth taking a break and analyzing the situation that has arisen.

But if a bad relationship with her husband is caused, rather, by domestic turmoil, general fatigue or lack of joint pastime, then their preservation depends on both spouses. In this situation, psychologists advise giving each other as much attention and time as possible. And, it can be not only walking or going to a restaurant or a theater. Any pleasant compliment, a gentle smile or a touch is the first step to mutual understanding.

In order to understand how to establish relationships with her husband, the following psychological exercise will be useful . Dividing a sheet of paper into 2 parts, in the 1-st column you need to enter those qualities of your partner that you admire, and in the second - those that would like to change it. Let your beloved do the same. If the "positive" part has more points, then there are not so many worries - just another small crisis that you can quite overcome. Patience, positive emotions and new impressions will help in such a delicate matter. But if the "negative" part is in the lead - this is an alarm signal, indicating that your family has serious problems.

How to establish relationships with her husband in such a difficult situation? You can try to contact a psychologist, but remember that you and your spouse can solve their intra-family problems only. First of all, learn to speak the same language. Think about what style of behavior you choose for an ordinary conversation with your loved one. Perhaps, you too often use the image of a parent or child, and your partner tries to address you on a different level. But for effective communication , at least the same "vocabulary" and a similar range of concepts are needed. More on this you can learn from the works of the American psychotherapist Eric Bern.

Secondly, you need to share with your partner your thoughts about what you do not like. But you need to express your claims accurately, without unnecessary negative emotions. After all, your goal is to understand how to establish relations with your husband, and not provoke another scandal. Therefore, try to take retaliatory remarks calmly, trying to look at the conflict "from outside" and adequately perceiving criticism in your address.

Before answering the question: how to keep a relationship with her husband, think - why do you really need it. Options: for the sake of children, in order not to remain alone, not to destroy the family, to be a normal member of society - are not accepted. There is only one absolutely correct answer, and it sounds like this: I love and respect my spouse, we are ready to overcome all difficulties together, because our mutual feeling is really worth it.