Post-Divorced Stress

Undoubtedly, divorce is a great tragedy for the whole family: not only for the husband and wife, but also for their children, parents and other close relatives. But the biggest drama occurs with the person who is left alone, from whom they leave, whether they are husband or wife (although women are more likely to fall into such situations). The divorce process is not only the actual loss of the family, loneliness, but also a great stress for the body and the nervous system. After all, all the vicissitudes of parting: scandals, feelings of humiliation, "debriefing", the division of property, legal procedures - last for several months, and sometimes much longer, and occur, as they say, at a "high degree". Therefore, after all this, it is necessary to "undertake for ourselves" both in the domestic and in the psychological sense, so as not to aggravate the situation, not to fall into a serious depression, and try to slowly start building your life.

The first point: you need to gradually bring yourself to the point that a divorce is not only a tragedy, that it can also be perceived as a certain stage of life that ended and made room for the next one. In this case, it makes no sense to grieve over what neither to return nor to change it is impossible, but it is necessary to organize the arrangement of one's new life and not waste time.

When we begin to perceive the situation from a positive point of view, a prospect appears. Divorce is equal to death in a certain sense, and you can not argue with this, but unlike the loss of a loved one, if you lose the relationship, you have a chance that everything will repeat and be even better. A new grandmother, you will not have new parents, and a new husband or wife is very likely to appear. In negative reactions to such events there is no practical sense - any trouble should be perceived as a guide to action, because the longer you drive yourself into a corner of experiences and anguish, the more your problems will grow: both mental and everyday, and worldview.

As Dr. Kurpatov said: "If you do not get along with something in the family, you can take it as a tragedy and start a long road of suffering. And you can perceive as a kind of challenge - "I'm a shivering creature or have the right ?!" If you are internally disposed to deserve a good family, a happy marriage, a full relationship, you start thinking about how to get what you deserve, But do not engage in our favorite national play - bury yourself alive. " So work on your psychological attitude, tune in to the future, outline prospects, set goals and start making the first steps to a new life. It's very difficult, but you have to try hard, at first "pulling yourself together", sometimes through strength, and then everything will turn out!

The second point: you need to try to take your time as much as possible: to find new classes, to engage in appearance and, as they say, "go out into people." Of course, such advice requires material means, but at least one or two items can be invented and implemented. You need to give your life a more active pace, so that on the thought of loneliness, that "life is over", there simply was not time left, but on the contrary it felt, at first, at least indirectly, that a new life began. And again: all your new beginnings can give you a lot of opportunities for new acquaintances: friendly, "useful" and romantic, and maybe fateful.

1. New business: study, advanced training, courses. Such activities will help to increase the level of self-esteem, to feel their own strengths, skills, to feel their importance. You will have new opportunities for career growth and business prospects. Distracted by the thoughts, worries and responsibilities in these exercises, you will be much less likely to think about your personal problems.

2. Make small or long-forgotten dreams come true. Try to implement the hobby, which has been thought about for a long time, but was postponed all the time. For example, it can be: drawing, photography or any other creativity, skydiving, interesting trips, collecting, fishing, etc. You do not want to start at all, you will not have the strength and the spirit, but take the first steps "through I do not want", and then you will be drawn in, and the interest will develop by itself.

3. Appearance: beauty, care, new wardrobe. Take on your appearance: self-confidence, in your attractiveness - this is the key to success on the road to a new life. In addition, the well-groomed appearance incommensurably increases the chances of attention of the opposite sex. By the way, for men this point also applies - why not pull up your form, do not refine your hair, do not update your wardrobe.

4. Sports, fitness, aerobics and much more. Improve the appearance and strengthen the physical tone. And even through exercise, negative energy is released, the stress of stress is relieved. If there are no suitable friends for this, it's boring just to do exercises in the gym, then choose for yourself dances or sections for beginners for volleyball, basketball, football. It's fun, dynamic and all the bad feelings go away.

5. Rest, travel, travel - a great way to change the situation, get new impressions, think about a new life and make interesting acquaintances.

6. Spend more time with friends, relatives, try to visit companies, restaurants, entertainment centers, communicate. The main thing is not to remain alone with heavy thoughts.

7. And most importantly - do not be frightened of new acquaintances with the opposite sex. You are now a free man and have every right to flirt, to temporary hobbies, and to have a serious relationship.

Plus, for all men, the output will be for some time to go into the work, it will distract from negative thoughts, and bring its fruits - the social and material status will improve. This is a good way out also because men values such as "work, career" strongly compete with the priorities of "family, relationships", so that it will be easier for them to "find themselves" in work at this stage of time. But women are not recommended to do so - communication, support, affection is more important for them, so that in order not to become isolated and not to drive the problem and stress into a corner, you need to communicate as much as possible with close people, receiving support and understanding, so And with friends, team, new acquaintances.