These 11 tips will help you communicate with virtually any person

Talking to people you do not know (or until you know well enough) can be difficult. Of course, this frightens. You need to find a way to contact a person, like him. You want to form some kind of relationship model, even if it's a short-term interaction.

You may think that the whole trick is what you should do during a conversation: what to say, how to look, what gestures to use, etc. But in fact, it's much more important to listen.

Regardless of whether you consider communication your own chip, these 11 tips will help you not only communicate with strangers, but also improve your already established relationships.

1. Talk about them

People like to talk about their lives, no matter how they say otherwise. Take an interest in their affairs and what is important to them.

"We often think that we need to make an impression, tell about ourselves to please, but in reality you seem to people much less interesting if you concentrate in talking to yourself," says psychotherapist Tai-An Truong.

Ask questions about family, children, career, dreams, travel, plans. Everyone is interested in some kind of sphere, you will come across something that is significant to your interlocutor, and he will start to speak.

2. Adapt

A good way to please the other person is to adapt the conversation to him. Correspond in the tonality, as well as the manner of speech and its pace. If you are initially incompatible with the conversational style, change it - and you two will become much easier to communicate.

3. Do not forget about politeness and respect someone else's time

Politeness has never been superfluous. Ask the person if he has time and desire to talk before starting communication. This is not only respect for the personal time of the interlocutor, but also a great way to attract attention. Be sure that by agreeing to a conversation, a person will be involved in it completely.

4. Ask open-ended questions

Open-ended questions imply a broader response than just "yes" and "no." They set up a conversation, while fixed questions make interaction difficult.

5. Put yourself in the shoes of another person

If you have a conversation with a serious person, prepare in advance. Think with whom you will talk, what kind of relationship you have with him / her and what is the purpose of your conversation. If you understand what style of communication to choose, you will achieve success.

6. Make sincere compliments

Compliments like all people, but only if they are sincere. If nothing comes to mind, it is better to omit this moment.

"People see when their interlocutor is disingenuous Find what you really like about a person and tell him about it," says Truong, "Compliments to manners, intelligence or personal qualities are always more effective than comments about the appearance, but they Can be in place. "

7. Agree

It's nice, to understand that you're right, and even nicer when other people confirm it.

"Find what you agree with and say so," continues Truong, "even if you generally do not like the point of view, find a piece of truth in what you were told and agree with it before you argue your opinion" .

Consent helps to create connections, and in fact this is exactly what you need.

8. Do not try to be someone else.

Adapting to others, do not overdo it. So you will seem too false and insincere. Trying to behave charmingly, behave naturally, otherwise people will think that this is forced behavior.

9. Be Easier

Of course, we often have short-term conversations when we need someone to ask for something, ask or clarify. But these are conversations from the series "something is needed", while it is quite possible to talk with a person, even unfamiliar, just like that. Some people are annoyed if they are being addressed only for "some reason", while sincere curiosity attracts.

10. Do not think what to say next

Some people spend more time thinking about what to say than on the conversation itself.

Lynn Rossi, Ph.D., and clinical psychologist, says: "Sometimes you do not need to answer something" right ", whether it's words of support, advice, consent or denial.Do not focus on what you" must "say, That comes to your mind, or do not say anything. "

11. Listen more

Really focus on what you are told. It is often more important to hear than to say. Do not be distracted by minor things like social networks, just listen - and people will appreciate it.