Philosophy of My Life

Sometimes everyday life turns into a special stage: it acquires a new, unpredictable character, expands the range of sound and colors with bright colors that float past you and fill the unfilled corners of the corridors of your soul. Then it (life) gathers so fast rates and turns, the speed and rhythm of the days become so incredible, events and actions - sweeping by somewhere past, through you, and their outlines - barely perceptible, that out of the whole lived week only strange ones are remembered Sometimes stupid thoughts from his sick head and tired mind, not having time to keep track of what is happening. At such a time, inadvertently you begin to dream of the appearance of an additional six hands, thus similarly to the eight-armed Shiva or the goddess Guanyin. Sooner or later you begin to realize that you are just trying to catch up with life, you run after it and can not keep up. And I just want to live.

There are thoughts about the transience of life, about how incredibly small it is. And how much has not been done yet ... And how can you manage everything while you are young and full of strength (and is it full?) And faith in yourself, until you are disappointed in everything and in all, as it happens in the crises of 30 and 40 years And, finally, while you know exactly what you want in life? .. Many believe that there is time to decide on landmarks and desires. "I will not think about it today .I will think about it tomorrow" and everything in this style. Is there any time to think about this tomorrow? Where and by whom will you be tomorrow? Can you decide this tomorrow? Tomorrow is a fantasy until it becomes today. And you have time only today. Now. Not postponing for later, which may not be. In my opinion, there is nothing more terrible in life to die, and not knowing its position, place and direction in life, to die, without even illuminating the path that I would like to go through.

You begin to realize how important it is to spend holidays with your family, how you would like to cut snowflakes with your family, to argue about where it's best to hang this red ball on the tree, decide together which hill is the best and fun, make wishes for the chimes And ask God to have many more such happy days ...

But it's too late to think about it. The holiday is gone, you stayed late at work (it's not the first year), and the body showed only one desire - to go to bed sooner. You understand that this is a vicious circle, a maze of events and circumstances, from which you have not yet found a way out. You can not stop this wheel of incredibly fast movements that suck you in, devouring all your time and awareness of being.

Stop it. Be late for work, sit on a bench in the park. And allow yourself to think about yourself, your life, look at the people around you (and see them in the same trap as hamsters running along the wheel that stands immobile in the cage), inhale the dirty air of the city (understand the insignificance of its existence and foresee it End), yearn for the village in which you grew up and, in the end, allow yourself to cry out in public, release a "steam" that has been accumulating over the years and understand that in the last fifteen minutes you have gained more experience and knowledge than last few years.

I want to live, not run after life.