Loveful is who is?

How can you call a man who loves many women? A voice from the audience: "Lovelywill is that definition that suits him." Quite right. And now we will understand what men and women are like and what kind of quality it is - love.

Two types of attitude towards women: as to the object and as the subject

Before we paint in all colors what is loveful (which we will understand later), we need to make some methodological observation.

Erich Fromm wrote a remarkable work "To have or to be" (1976). All its salt is that a person can relate to the world and other people, based on two opposing worldview systems. In the foundation of one is the orientation toward possession, when the world and other people are represented only by things and adaptations to achieve one's own goals. The other assumes an equality with being, when every element of the world is perceived as a full partner. They differ theoretically quite simply: one feeds on love ("to be"), while the other wants only to rule and receive ("have"). Armed with the necessary theoretical knowledge, we turn to the answer to the question, loving - who is this?

Hank Moody as an example of a man who loves women truly

A graphic image of the hero of "California's Whimsical" will help to understand people who do not like scientific definitions, who is a loving man. Hank has a lot of women and all of them he loves in his own way. In the first season, he has to go to his father's funeral, and he, as is usual in movies, starts up in memories of him. Among other things, the son clearly hears in his head the father's phrase: "All the women I met, I loved. Someone 10 years old, and some 10 minutes. " Perhaps this is the best definition of affection that can be given.

In turn, Hank, who rejects his resemblance to his father in at least something, behaves the same way. He loves women quite sincerely and unselfishly, without demanding anything in return. As you know, the hero takes offense at the father for the fact that he threw his mother. We think after this there should be no question, loving - who is this? Everything is very clear. And nevertheless, I would like to tell you about the man-consumer.

Alphonse is the one who lives at the expense of women

This figure, although traditionally not typical for Russian reality, but sometimes meets. At the present time, when values are mixed, men are becoming more feminine and infantile, sometimes they allow themselves to live, relying on their girlfriend, this kind of catches ever more often. And it would not be so scary if a man depended on a woman due to various unpleasant circumstances or sudden life conflicts, but no. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it's a meaningful way of life.

Classical literature also knows such cases. As an example, one can take one of the main characters of the story of A.P. Chekhov "Gooseberries". Remember, there one of the brothers married a rich widow, and then brought her to the grave for the sake of her dream - the manor? This is an extreme example of Alphonse. In this case, when we ask ourselves: "Is a loving person it?", The answer will be negative, because love does not smell here.

On the other hand, Alphonse can be formally recognized as lovable, but for them this quality is only a tool, and they skillfully manage both their emotions and the feelings of another person.