How to deal with jealousy

In any dictionary, a training manual on psychology, and virtually every journal article on the theme of jealousy says that this feeling is negative and must be disposed of. But if this instinct is inherent in nature, then it is given to us for good? No one calls to stop blinking, and does not offer to fight with the desire to remove the hand from the burning fire. Then why do psychologists give recommendations on how to deal with jealousy? Because the basic instincts aimed at the survival of the individual in the wildlife world, in the conditions of society, not only lose their protective function, but also cause health problems, both mental and physical.

Scientists have proved that the feeling of jealousy provokes the release of vasopressin into the blood - a hormone that causes vasoconstriction, reflex muscle contraction, increased pressure. That is, the uncontrolled behavior of some men and women under the influence of this emotion is easily explained from the point of view of physiology. But if a woman is inclined to express emotionally her feelings, then the man reacts with the action to the release of the hormone. Therefore, manifested male jealousy is the cause of beatings, and suppressed causes health problems for the jealous.

How to deal with the jealousy of her husband

As a rule, both partners suffer from the destructive experience more or less. In such cases, psychologists give recommendations on how to deal with jealousy in order to reduce the level of nervous tension that causes physical malaise and to establish family relationships.

Famous psychologists of the twentieth century, such as Z. Freud, E. Berne, E. Erikson argued that a jealous character is laid in the infant development period and expresses the degree of confidence in the world. The negative experience of the relationship with the mother leaves an imprint on the whole subsequent life and shapes the desire for total control over people.

If both spouses want to maintain a relationship, experts urge a man to review partnering strategies, to realize that the marriage is not the basis for suppressing the identity of the wife.

Also an important aspect of maintaining emotional balance is self-confidence. Those who suffer uncontrollable painful bouts of jealousy, psychologists advise to focus on improving the level of self-esteem.

There are many effective ways to deal with jealousy: Louise Hay offers to read affirmations, Alexander Sviyash advises to practice active forgiveness, Orthodox priests recommend a special prayer - everyone will find the most suitable method for themselves. All these techniques are aimed at changing attitudes toward the world, towards the partner, toward oneself. Learn to love and respect yourself, trust people, build creative, mutually enriching relationships.

However, success in the fight against negative quality will be achieved only by those who wished to change themselves. If the husband is convinced of the correctness of his life position and does not consider it possible to respect the personal space of his loved ones, aspires to total control in all areas of interpersonal relations, advice on how to deal with jealousy will be useless. Unfortunately, such cases are rarely amenable to correction. What to do with jealousy, which takes painful forms and maims people's lives? Endure humiliation and beatings, saving the family for the sake of children? And is not the health of children harmed by an unfavorable psychological family climate? Remarkable psychologist Andrei Kurpatov in his book "Beauty and the Beast" on this issue gives the woman advice to find out who she really faced: with the enchanted Prince, who needs emotional support, or with a man of low moral standards, who are looking for an excuse to enjoy her humiliation . The professional psychologist will help first. With the second it is necessary to leave.