How tactful is it to deny a person?

It is impossible to deny: rejection is very unpleasant. Nevertheless, this is part of life. It does not matter if your heart is broken, you are refused a job or you are just being taken by a loved one, emotions will always be unpleasant. Such situations never pass without problems, it is always uncomfortable. If you yourself want to refuse someone, you also have a difficult time. You need to behave tactfully, support a person and at the same time cope with their own negative emotions. If you fail, you make the refusal even more painful. Many people would like to be able to refuse gently and politely. You do not want to hurt another person, make him feel pain and disappointment. It's all so complicated! Fortunately, there are some recommendations that help you cope with similar moments in your life most gently. It can even be a completely positive experience! Sometimes refusal becomes the impetus for change, because a person begins to think about how to become better. Failure makes you think more about yourself. It is a kind of motivation that helps to move on. If you need to refuse someone, use the tips below. This will make the situation more comfortable for everyone.

Tell the truth

It may seem obvious, but it is important to know: if you are deceiving a person about the reason for your refusal, you do not relieve his position by anything. Some prefer to lie in order not to hurt the feelings of a person who is denied. This is a good intention, but this behavior does not help to soften the blow. Honesty is your best choice, do not try to gloss over something. Even if you think that lying is a salvation, do not yield to such thoughts. The truth hurts, but then it is easier to accept, and the lie softens the effect only in the first minutes of the conversation, but ultimately poisons all the sympathy that remains after failure.

Be accurate

Common words do not do any good. If you must deny someone, be as precise and specific as possible. In the future, this will only help a person who has been refused. Often a refusal, which would not become its cause, is perceived as a personal insult. The more accurately you can explain what caused the situation, the better a person will understand that this is not his personal fault. This is a very important point for both sides of the conversation. Think over your rationale in advance in order to state it most clearly and intelligibly. This will help you reduce your own voltage during failure.

Watch your tone

Do not forget that the problem can be not only what exactly you say, but also in the way you do it. Think about what another person will feel in such a situation, and try to behave accordingly. The tone of the voice and the time chosen for conversation are the most important characteristics, so remember that it's not just the words you have chosen. Of course, they also have great importance, but do not forget about other criteria. Do breathing exercises, try not to strain and watch the intonations of your voice. Paying attention to this, you reduce your own stress, and the discomfort of another person.

Accept your role

If you are also somehow involved in the current situation, be sure to tell the person to whom you are parting. If the fault does not lie solely on his shoulders, the situation becomes a little more comfortable. Share the blame if this is the actual state of affairs, because the refusal is based on explaining the real situation. This will help you to clearly explain the reasons for your decision, although at the time of the interview it will be difficult for your interlocutor to perceive everything rationally and without unnecessary emotions. This is understandable, because parting can be extremely exhausting. Be prepared for this, accept in advance the fact that the negative is inevitable and partly connected with it.

Think about compromise

If the situation allows, perhaps you do not need to rigidly deny a person. Sometimes the problem can be solved with the help of a compromise. If you start a conversation with the goal of communicating your point of view and getting what you want, it is quite possible that another person will be able to meet you. In this case, he will feel much more comfortable. In such a situation, no one can come out victorious, but it is important to agree and establish the necessary boundaries. This is the most important, because otherwise you will not be able to understand what is bothering the other person and how he will accept the refusal. In any case, it is clear that this will be unpleasant. Learn to take care of your interests without hurting other people. This is a very important skill that helps to experience failures much more comfortably.

Let the person share his feelings with you

So just focus on what you want to say, and it's so hard to let a person who is experiencing a refusal share their thoughts and emotions. Nevertheless it is very important, you must give your interlocutor an opportunity to explain how he feels because of this refusal. Do not think that you will be very pleased. Refusal is a very difficult situation. Nevertheless, if a person immediately has the opportunity to speak out and share feelings, your conversation will be much more gentle and comfortable for everyone.

Practice in advance

If you are very nervous because you have to deny someone and want all words, intonation and expressed emotions to be relevant, you should practice, think about what you will say and how you will do it. This will be extremely useful for you. For example, you need to fire someone. Practice how you will say unpleasant news to another person. When you really need to do this, you will already know that you can say it calmly, and then you will be able to express all your thoughts in a harmonious way, honestly and carefully, which will help another person understand: life has not ended, everything is in order. You can do what you must, but in the best possible way. Enough practice is very useful for you, and for the person you are refusing. You can also practice with a friend or loved ones. In this case, you can get an assessment of your behavior from outside and ask for a useful piece of advice. This will help you better understand the subtleties of the situation and learn how to behave as correctly as possible.

Do not wait for a clear conclusion

Naturally, you would like to get some relief after a hard conversation, but not always the situation ends this way. This is completely normal. Many people dream that refusal has passed for all positively and painlessly, but it is necessary to understand at once that your interlocutor will not be happy. Just do not rush, do not push his emotions, do not try to cheer him up when it's inappropriate. By adjusting yourself to the fact that the situation will be resolved immediately, you doom yourself to disappointment. Do not do this! Be at once ready, that your conversation will not give clear consequences.

Failure is difficult

It is important to always remember that the best way to deny a person is to behave with maximum attention, kindness and respect. Behave as you try to behave in other situations. Perhaps in the process you will encounter resentment and anger, nevertheless, if you are kind, everything will go as best as possible for everyone.