How not to take everything to heart? Psychologist's advice

Human life is filled with stress. These are natural processes that determine the rhythm of life, the constant development of society and technology, relationships with people throughout this life. Psychologists often joke: "If you do not have problems, check if you have a pulse."

Of course, during all the time allotted to a person, he has to adapt. Someone succeeds in this, but for some people difficulties can become an exorbitant burden. Someone with ease can rebuff the offender, and someone else will longly scroll in the head heard, becoming upset and pounding themselves in the deaf corner of their own experiences. Familiar? Then it is worth learning how not to take everything to heart, and, finally, learn to live happily.

Psychologists about sensitive people

People who take everything to heart, in psychology are usually considered emotionally labile. This means that they have a fairly rapid change of mood, emotional states can vary from the highest degree of joy to deep despair, even within one day. They are more sensitive to irritants - both physical and psychological. The inner world is very rich, imagination and imagination are developed.

In everyday life, these are often good-natured people who will always respond to a request for help, even to the detriment of their own interests. This is due to the fact that approval of them is very important for them. This same trait often plays a cruel joke with sensitive people, because in life one does not always meet those who came with good intentions and repay good for good.

Affected people become more attached to others, and therefore the rupture of relationships is experienced especially bitterly and for a long time.

The cause of heightened sensitivity to changes in life can be a type of temperament. More often it's melancholic, which react very brightly to all external stimuli. Many of them are creative personalities.

Such an emotional constitution has a beginning in heredity and is a finished result of upbringing and living conditions. This means that it is still possible to be more resistant to life's difficulties, to know only how. Stop taking everything to heart, you can learn by working on yourself.

Managing emotions: how does it work?

Perhaps everyone knows that all the diseases are from the nerves. Any emotional state has a certain effect on the person's physical well-being. And in order not to appear psychosomatic diseases (body diseases, provoked by a person's psychological state), one must learn to control one's feelings and emotions. How not to take everything to heart?

A person can control not only the movements of the body, but also the train of thought. Therefore, the easiest way to remove an overwhelming negative experience can be an answer to the question of whether this will be important in a year. And in 5 years? Thus, a person can figure out how big the problem is for him.

How to get rid of negative experiences?

If everyday stress has become a part of life, and waking up in the morning, a person mentally prepares himself for the worst, it is worth seriously thinking about auto-training. This is the same way of auto-suggestion, self-adjustment, only for the best. By the principle "I am the most charming and attractive." Only in this case you need to choose your option - "everything is good", "I am calm," "there is always a way out." Indeed, the exit exists from any situation. It's just that he does not always suit a person completely.

Relaxation is another way to direct and control emotions. It will show how not to take to heart the problems and stay in good spirits. Here, everyone can choose the most pleasant way for themselves - meditation, listening to soothing music or sounds, breathing practices or practicing yoga. Or all together. The main thing is regularity. Autotraining and relaxation are excellent alternatives to medical intervention, because they help to cope with the source of the problem - negative thinking, and not only "pacify" the physiological reactions to stress, as do soothing agents.

How to respond to the words of others correctly?

So, how not to take words to heart? First of all, it is necessary to learn several important points that concern both sides of the dialogue.

1. One of the paradoxical advice that psychologists give is this: "Have you offended? So do not be offended!" This is not an answer backhand, like "the offended balconies are falling" or "you need to treat everything easier". There is a different meaning here. The fact is that caustic remarks, unreasonable criticism are a manifestation of the qualities of the person most offending. He may be poorly educated, in a bad mood or trying to throw responsibility for his failures on another. This does not in any way affect the personality of the person who is offended. Therefore, it is not worth it to take on this negative. It is necessary to show sympathy for this person and not to conceal anger on him.
2. Also it is worthwhile to distinguish, for what purpose were said certain words of the interlocutor. For example, if the caustic jokes of others appeared in response to a person's story about a successful purchase, think about whether this is a manifestation of ordinary envy. At such certainly you should not take offense.
3. A sensitive person is important as he looks in the eyes of others. Therefore, if they try to offend him publicly, he should remind himself that in this situation it is not he who is not winning and is foolish looking, but just an offender. Answer rudeness to rudeness is not necessary, but also silent is also not recommended. It is necessary to note calmly and with dignity the incorrectness of the opponent's remark and not to continue the conversation in such a manner and situation.
4. Do not need to wait for approval from all people. Especially unfamiliar. A person who learns how not to take everything to heart, first and foremost, should take care of their own self-esteem. Self-confident person is able to independently assess their successes, he can encourage himself and criticize himself. He does not need an outside opinion for this. Even the praise of an outsider should try to forget more quickly, so that in the future, not be guided in their actions for such approval. Self-development is the path to self-sufficiency.

Live in a new way: useful settings

In the list of tips on how not to take everything to heart, there must be certain attitudes or habits of acting and thinking in stressful situations:

• Use of jokes. A developed sense of humor often allows you to translate the maturing conflict into a joke. And a person who is capable of laughing at himself, discourages everyone from doing it to others.
• Ability to distinguish between constructive and non-constructive criticism. The second has already been mentioned above, and the first is to be perceived as an opportunity for one's own growth and a goal for development.
• Before learning how not to take anything to heart, a person should analyze his own patterns of behavior. It happens that being offended is a way to attract attention, to cause feelings of guilt in another, manipulation. In this case, it is necessary to get rid of the root cause - feelings of inferiority, which provokes resentment.
• Find yourself an outlet (a place, a favorite activity) that will help to cope with negative experiences.

In conclusion

Each person is unique. And you should not try to adjust this uniqueness to the generally accepted framework. It is much more important to learn how to use your strengths and work on shortcomings.

If a person is sensitive, this does not mean that he should become more pragmatic. He should use this quality where others can not, for example in creativity. And to work - over confidence and the ability to stand up for oneself. It is in this case that a person can find the long-awaited harmony with himself.